Italia week: design

Italy is known for more than just red-tape. When is come to home design Italy is a major player in this world. There is section of Beverly Boulevard here that is home to several stores, like Alessi, Kartell, B&B Italia, Armani Casa, Cappellini etc.

I just love these Philippe Stark Louis Ghost Chairs from Kartell.



Based on a Louis XV chair this design works in almost any decor. They have chairs without the arms that come in a variety of colors. It doesn't make sense for me to buy one now (plus it's not in my budget) given my move. Maybe I'll get one for my desk when I move to Rome. Although with the poor exchange rate it will be painful.

Speaking of exchange rates, I went to the bank to get some Euros the dollar was at $1.53 to the Euro. WTF!! When is the slide going to end?

Italia week: a little fashion from Gucci

After a little music, calico (soccer), film it's time for some fashion.

I believe Frida Giannini was recently hired by Valentino. She had a tough time at Gucci following in the footsteps of Tom Ford. She was always being compared to him. However, since she took over, ready-to-wear sales have gone up. I loved Tom's designs but how many "regular" women could wear his clothes? I think Frida was head of accessories under Tom and I am huge fan of their bags (which is why I avoid all Gucci stores.)

I love Pat McGrath's work. She is the top make-up artist in fashion. British via Jamaica she is also a make-up consultant for one of the big brands here.

One downside of living in such a warm climate is, I don't get to wear fall clothes too often. It's going to be 82 today. Also L.A. is very casual and these kind of structured clothes look strange here. Of course I don't miss February in New York City, when it's freezing, gray and the sun doesn't shine for weeks. Rome doesn't get as cold as New York but the seasons are more noticeable. Fall is my favorite season. I can't wait to wear sweaters, tights, gloves and boots.

What is your favorite season for clothes and why?

Italia week: second Blogiversary, Cinema Paradiso

Two years ago I started this blog. I uesd to think blogging was weird. Why would anyone put their private thoughts online? I have to say, I am so glad I started this thing. I don't think I would have written my book or be moving to Rome had I not started to connect with people outside my insular little world. Here is my first post.

great now I have a blog
Very exciting. Have no idea who would read this thing but here goes.

This was actually a great week. "Hell A" seemed almost tolerable. I love my job but not a fan of the city I have to live in. I think it's getting better. Thank god, I've been here for 7 years. Voluteering and taking classes have really helped. In 2006 I am going to get out more. I know I said that in 2005 but that was before the company I worked for shut down. Hard to care about a social life when trying to pay the rent.

Now that the special election is over I can focus on really important things. For example Derailed. I am very conflicted about this movie. I love Clive and Vincent but never liked Friends. I'm a Seinfeld person. The commericals are not the most effective. Do I take a chance or just wait until Spike's movie comes out with Denzel AND Clive?

I wish I had Tivo so I could watch Oprah with Terry McMillian and her ex again. Fascinating.

Okay this post is boring to me and I wrote it. I am exhausted. I have a ton of reading for work this weekend and Italian homework I need to finish before class tonight.




Today's nod to all things Italia is the film. CINEMA PARADISO. This film won the Oscar for best foriegn film. If you love movies or movies about love, it's a must see. I'm going to watch it again this week. It will be a nice reminder of why I do what I do during this strike. The situation is getting very ugly. The studios are threatening to sue the television showrunners and NBC is thinking about having guest hosts fill in on the Tonight Show because Jay Leno refuses to cross the picket line (unlike Ellen...hello she is a member of the WGA. I can't believe she is still working). No new talks have been scheduled.

Italia week: Gennaro Gattuso

I have stated previously on this blog my appreciation for Mr. Gattuso.

I really have no idea what is being said in this clip from a popular comedy show. I do recognize some of the curse words. I think the body language sums it up. Around the 4:00 minute mark, the hand gestures are priceless. I don't know why the parking attendant thinks he can out run a soccer player. ha

This is it. Time for some Eros.

The reader just dropped off my ms. She said there weren't too many typos (phew) and that she really liked it.

I will be fixing the corrections this weekend and working on my query letter.

If I had not been in Toronto I would not have known Eros Ramazzotti has a greatest hits CD coming out this month (with a few new singles added). I heard this song on an Italian music station. It was the number one song on the countdown. Ricky Martin sings pretty well in Italian. I don't want to hear anyone speak ill of my Eros. I don't care if he is cheezy. He also records his CDs in Spanish and is huge in Latin America.

To celebrate finishing my book and my upcoming trip to Venice, it's going to be Italia week here at sistergirltales.blogspot.com. This will be much more fun than stressing about sending the ms out to agents or worrying about the writers strike.

Do you hear the sound of crickets? Day three of the writers strike.

Seven shows have stopped production already, including DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Without scripts they have nothing to shoot. All the late night shows started showing reruns on Monday. The two sides as of today are not speaking. Folks, we might be in for a long ass strike. I'm not going to get into the whole blow by blow but this is getting ugly. I am hearing from other execs that the studios are already letting assistants and junior executives go, and suspending talent deals. In eight weeks they can legally fire/terminate whoever they want and not have to pay out people contracts.

Many actors have joined the picket lines. They know when their contract is up they will be dealing with the same issues. The studio's rep is trying to paint the writers as greedy saying the avg. writer makes 200k a year. However, for every Paul Haggis who makes 2-4 million for the Bond sequel there are hundreds of writers who barely make guild minium every year. Here are some of the salaries of the studio heads. Disney's Bob Iger: $42.4 Million in ‘06. Fox's Chernin: $42.5 million in ‘06 and CBS's Moonves: $28 million in ‘06. Yes, this is with stock options and bonuses but these are people who are saying paying writers four more cents for DVD residuals is too much.

The office is so quiet. We left work early yesterday. I spoke to one senior agent who told me her phone rang only once. Yikes. I'm sitting here eating some chips and drinking Coke. I know I shouldn't but I eat when I'm nervous, cranky, stressed, romantically challenged, tired, worried, and bored so I have been eating non-stop since I returned from Toronto. The hold on my gym membership is finally up next week, that will help. I don't want a water taxi or gondola in Venice to tip over because I stepped into it. That would be bad.

David Rocco's "La Dolce Vita" and other things I miss about Toronto.

David Rocco's La Dolce Vita - This cooking show was on TLN (Telelatino Network). I think Food Network Canada was involved some how. David (I assumed he was Italian-Canadian) taped the show at his apartment in Florence. Each show would feature a few recipes and him and his wife and/or friends eating, drinking or shopping in Italy. The show was taped in English but there was voice over translating into Italian. I saw one that followed him during his vacation on the Amalfi coast...bellissima.

Serie A soccer games on Sunday - One of the Fox sports channel (here in L.A. you might see some U.K. games or Mexican games) would show the games, as would TLN. TLN had a show called Soccer Fanatics where two men and one woman would analyse the games. Very informative.

The Sopranos dubbed - I was so excited when the FBI agent said to Adrianna "dobbiamo parlare" (we have to talk) and I understood. Every other word was a curse word. I didn't realize they cursed that much. ha.

Foriegn news - There was more of it. They covered things going in the U.S. and all over the world.

Walking everywhere - I have already gained back some of the weight I lost. :(

The cast and crew (esp. FH man)

The diversity

Thick walls, not hearing every single thing my neighbors do

The view from the gym in my building of Lake Ontario

Friendly people

Jamaican pastries

Terroni - one is opening here in 3 weeks.

Bonjour Brioche

Normal looking people, instead of Botoxed to death faces

Fall weather and the leaves changing

One day I got lost and ended up on this road, 30 minutes or so north of Toronto.


The cow looking at the camera is posing.


Can someone tell me what the show "C'è Un Posto per Te" is about? Some celeb would sit behind a wall and the host, with a very raspy voice and lots of cleavage would talk, talk and talk. Is it some kind of "This is your life" type of show? The people on the other side of the wall would usually tear up as would members on the audience. Is the title's translation "There is a place for you?" I had to watch one day when Gennaro Gatuso was on. I had not idea what the heck anyone was saying.

I am almost done with my book, so why am I freaking out?

I am terrible with typos. I am trying to catch all of them but out of 93,000 words there might be a few that slip by. All weekend (breaks for meals) I worked on my manuscript.

Friday and Saturday were very frustrating. I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and by 8:00 there was major construction going on. There is a new condo building going up two lots over. Next door my landlord is putting in hardwood floors. All day there was loud banging in that apartment. I think she is having a hard time renting the space out (good!). I know she is asking some outrageous price. I guess she finally realized she had to change the old carpet. People are not that crazy.

The new neighbor upstairs must have 40 lb weights attached to his legs.

Saturday was just awful. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go to a library because I was reading the ms out loud. It's the first time I have done that cover-to-cover (thank you Walter Mosley for that tip).

If I finish the corrections this week I will start sending it out to agents. I am not "going wide" just testing the waters first to see what kind of feedback I get. I am so worried but feel like it's time. If I don't do it now I am going to put it in a box and never take it out.

This whole process is so subjective. I hope one of the agents will respond to the ms.

To add to the stress of the weekend, my immediate boss and I had a very long talk on Friday about the writers strike. I asked her to please give me at least 30 days notice if they are going to let me go.

Writers strike called.

Just got home from dinner with a writer. The Writers Guild of America has called a strike, date and time to be announced tomorrow. The studio's rep was saying earlier today they had reached an impass because the writers would not back down from their DVD/new media demands (the studios want them taken off the table). Now that a strike has been called the same rep said they could work out this contract this weekend.

We'll see. Nobody wants a strike. The last strike was 20 years ago, lasted five months and cost the industry over half a billion dollars in revenue. Careers were destroyed. Back then flim/tv was not competing with video games, YouTube, Facebook, Myspace etc. I think the hard line taken by the studios is posturing. They must be concern about the low TV ratings this season. Having to resort to reruns or reality all the time is going to make it worse. Some of those eyeballs they will not get back. The writers are not asking for the sun and the stars. Without them there would be no narrative films or scripted TV shows. Don't brag to Wall Street about how your profits are higher than ever then come back to the talent saying, a four cent increase in DVD royalities would ruin your business model. I have an idea, stop paying "A-list" actors 25 million plus 20 percent first dollar gross and maybe your business model would work.

The studios need to step up on the DVD/new media demands and the writers should forget about trying to get reality show "writers" in the union (eventhough the host of reality shows are members of the Screen Actor Guild). SAG (the Screen Actors Guild) and the Teamsters have publicly stated their support. SAG's contract isn't up until June 08 so they can't strike but when they are not working they can picket. The Directors Guild has been very quiet.

Half a million people, crazy outfits, disco, and helicopters.

There are a bunch of news helicopters hovering over my apartment. I hope they are not there all night. Santa Monica Boulevard has been shut down to car traffic. Three radio stations have booths set up along the Boulevard and folks are dancing.

The big outfit this year, like every year, is anything that will show off a six-pack and a tight butt. I saw many very fit men but they were all gay. I did see one man dressed like Britney at the VMAs. He had two boy dolls on a chain and was dragging them on the pavement. There were several Posh and Becks couples, one was straight the others were not.

No comment.


I have no idea why the photo is this way. It was correct in iPhotos. Snow White was having a great time.


I thought this group was very creative. They had a car and everything.


This man's outfit was scary. It looked so real, especially that crazy thing below his waist.


I believe Batman used to wear more clothes.

Tomorrow is Halloween...my neighborhood is going to be insane.

I will have to leave work early so I can actually make it back to my apartment. The streets are closed off and the traffic is horrible on Halloween.

The West Hollywood Halloween Parade is one of the largest in the country. I'm not dressing up but maybe I will check out some of the festivities. If I get any good pics, I will post them.

Another break-in, Kitson West Hollywood, and a L.A. landmark.

Two more reasons why I'm happy about moving.

In the two months I was gone three of my neighbors moved. There are under fifteen units here. One of them told me he was robbed. The weird thing is there was no forced entry. He travels alot for work. While he was gone someone took his laptop which was on his bed and $4,000 in cash which was in a box in his closet. Okay, I'm not sure why anyone would have that much cash sitting in their apartment. He said that one of the maintenance workers had been in his apartment recently to do some repairs. He hasn't seen him since.

The kicker is my neighbor is going to move into another building our horrible landlady owns. That makes no kind of sense. She is "letting" him break the lease since he hasn't been here a year. Wow that is so generous of her. This is a very safe area and we never had any problems until this (____) bought our building. Last year another tenant had his laptop stolen when the her guys were here fixing something in his apartment. She said the two girls living next door had something to do with it. Yes, I'm sure the Tri-delt girls stole their neighbor's laptop. Once they moved out she refused to give them their securtiy deposit. She also did the same thing to another one of my former neighbors. This chick is a piece of work. I have to call her to find out wha my rent increase is going to be because she never gives us a 30 day notice. Then she will call you and say you underpaid. Technically without the 30 days notice we don't have to pay the increase but life is too short to deal with her.

My gym membership is still on hold so I have to work out by walking around. I know other Bloggers like to show things like The Pantheon, The Chrysler Building, The Golden Gate Bridge and things like that. I have other things to show. Travel and Leisure's current issue has their latest City Survey where readers rate their favorites cities. Los Angeles received high marks for luxury boutique shopping but low marks for accessibility/public transportation, friendliness, and intelligence (ha!! even I think that is mean).

As I was walking down Melrose I saw something that shook me to the core.

This part of Melrose gets pretty congested. Great, now that this store is opening, we will have even more paparazzi craziness. Kitson on Robertson is the spot where Lindsey, Paris etc. go to shop. I used work around the corner and always thought it was a fantastic place to get nice gifts. I'm not sure how or why it turned into such a Us magazine staple. I think it's funny the Bohdi Tree Bookstore, a crunchy, new agey store is right across the street.


Kiki de Montparnasse is a lingerie brand started by Toronto native Jennifer Zuccarini. The art major opened her first store in NYC and now is opening one in L.A. Her stuff is gorgeous. This was the sign in the window. I don't really get it. Joking.


Paul Smith's store really stands out.


Where it all started. There is a cute cafe in Fred Segal. If you are in L.A. and feel the need to see celebs, you can come here and see them not eat.

The number one question I was asked at an Italian dinner party.

How old are you?

Followed by disbelief then, "Yes, you must move to Rome."

As some of you know, I spend my Friday nights reading some scripts, watching Clint and Stacey on TLC's WHAT NOT TO WEAR and then I'm in bed by 10:00.

Yesterday G tells me at 5:00 p.m. the friend he is staying with decided to throw a dinner party at the last minute. If I want to come it starts at 8:30. In passing he had mentioned this guy (let's call him G#2) was an artist, they grew up together in Milan and he lived in Beachwood Canyon. You can find some deals/rent stablished places in the flats of the Canyon but the Hills are very expensive. Most artists barely eek out a living. G neglected to tell his friend lived in the Hills of the Canyon. I drove around for almost an hour trying to find the side street off Beachwood Drive. Of course I forgot my cell phone at home. There is nobody on the street, because it's L.A. and nobody walks here. I finally drive down the to bottom of the Canyon and the gas station attendant couldn't be more rude when I asked if he knew where the street was. At this point I was very frustrated. There was a pay phone in the back. It looked like it harbored several infectious diseases. Thank God I had some change. I dialed G's cellphone and what did I hear? His outgoing message. ugh!

Back at the station, I asked a woman if she knew the street. She asked her boyfriend. They live in the area and it was still difficult for them to tell me how to actually get there. It turns out the house is at the top of the ridge. For any folks who live in L.A. you know what it is like trying to drive in the canyon hillls at night. Pitch black, sharp turns on narrow roads, coyotes walking in front of you and staring you down, and getting lost.

I finally make it to the house and the host G#2 is gorgeous (and married with two beautiful children). He is a perfect host greeting everyone who comes in and getting them drinks. I see G by the stove and he yells out "you made it. We were so worried about you." Then he starts laughing at my message (I used a lot of the"F" word). He had his phone with him but the reception up there is spotty.

This house was bananas. Views of the Hollywood sign and the reservoir on one side and expansive views of L.A. on the other. I almost cried when I saw the walk-in shower in the master bedroom. It was the size of my living room.

The pasta was delicious. I was talking to another American, who had just moved to L.A. from San Fran to pursue her acting career. She had lived in France for 3 years. She said she was shocked there was food at this party (she arrived around 11:00 and it had turned into more of a party, instead of a sit down dinner thing) and more importantly that people were eating. ha

G told all the Italians I was moving. Two of them I have met before and they work in the Industry. Since I'm over 35, the Italians, esp. those in the biz, got where I was coming from right away. One woman C, said "it's good for you to be so positive but I want you to call me after you've tried to set up your Internet, especially since you will be trying to do it in English. I'm curious to see how you will feel about Italy then." G said, "Come on, why are trying to scare her?" Then they started arguing in Italian. She did say I could find a place for less then 1000 Euros. Her friend has a nice one bedroom in Trastevere for 800.

It's funny, what C mentioned are the things that keep me up at night. Not walking away from a great (but low paying) job but trying to do basic things. When I rented an apartment in Trastevere last year I ruined two shirts because I didn't understand the washing machine directions. I couldn't switch my cell phone to English instructions by myself.

The friend, S, who introduced me to G couldn't be more helpful and said I should call him regarding any production jobs in Italy. He has lived in America for 17 years and is torn. He wants to move back to Milan but he just signed a production deal with an indie company based in NYC. He told G he better look out and take care of me. G said he is on the apartment search and then will try to find me a boyfriend. haha. S knows a black American woman who worked in banking with him in New York. She took a 3 month sabbatical to Italy. She is still living there seven years later with a husband and two children. He mentioned another American expat who is a book agent in Milan that I should meet. C told me to call her the minute I get to Rome.

The party was very fun. I learned some new words and met some very nice people. I was laughing with the other women because there were maybe 6 men at the party and over 30 women. What the hell? We gave G a hard time about it. One woman, a Roman who was born in L.A., just moved back to America and works at this production company that is a super tough place to work (because the people there are crazy, in the truest sense), we will go to lunch/drinks soon and I will try to stop by her Halloween party tonight but I have plans.

Okay, now I have to stop by my office and deal with my desk. I was so backed up at work this week I didn't have time to get organized.

Mi dispiace, non ho capito (I'm sorry, I didn't understand)

This is a sentence I said often today. I met with G an actor friend who lives in Rome. He is from Milan via Sicily and is out here for meetings.

G is the first person I met in Rome. We went to lunch at 'Gusto Osteria. He asked how I knew his friend and I said I didn't. We met through a friend of his who is a friend of one of my friends (the one who moved back to NYC and has the Swedish fiancee). We had a three hour lunch that day and then I must have spent another hour talking on the street with him and half of Rome. Every block we bumped into someone he knew. My last day in Rome we went to see a Peggy Guggenheim exhibit and walked all over the Monti area. He is a great guy.

Today he was speaking Italian so quickly, I had no idea what he was saying. He told me I could call him when anything in my apartment-to-be in Rome breaks. G has been so encouraging about the move. He is going to ask friends about apartments since word of mouth is the best way to find a deal. I would like to stay in the 800-1000 Euro a month range because with the low dollar I will be actually paying much more. ugh!!! He said 800 would be tough, even 1000 is pushing it. I said I would love a place with a little terrace. He busted out laughing. Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask.

I told my parents today. My mom was super quiet. My dad said he had to process the info and would call me back. They knew I wanted to move but were surprised by the earlier date. I still have to see what the post-production schedule is on the movie before I can nail down a date. I'm thinking March or April, which will be here before I know it.

Speaking of Italia, I ordered some books on Venice from Amazon. I just realized I will be there in four weeks!

Under the Parisian Sun...a story

Thanks to yesterday's comments I decided to write a little story to take my mind of the fact that I am sitting here looking at stack of scripts. Today was my first day back at work. My immediate boss called me and I'Med me from France, saying the crew misses me esp. FH man, and thanks for respresenting the company well. Apparently the hotel they are staying in is very nice unlike the not so great place in Hamilton. Sigh, once again.

Yesterday it was suggested I pack my stuff send it to my family and just move overseas. Or go to the airport and fly to France with the clothes on my back, like in a typical Rom Com (how we in Hollywood refer to Romantic Comedies). Picking up from that idea:

I would need a sassy best friend to drive me to the airport. The sassy best friend could be a smug married or a gay man offering all types of advice to their single straight friend. Of course on the way to the airport there would be major traffic and I would almost miss my flight. Cue the montage of wacky L.A. road rage, me hyperventilating, an officer pulling us over, the sassy best friend saying I needed to get my man and the officer replying YOU GO GIRL! eventhough we are not really saying that phrase in that context anymore (it has gone the way of OH SNAP!)

I arrive at the airport in France after flying all night and I hop into the cab of a driver who hates Americans. I get to the hotel. The snooty concierge tells me the crew has checked out of the hotel, zut allors! In reality I would call the Toronto production office or my office for the number but that is not rom com movie logic. Instead I freak out.

I wonder the street of Paris crying as a light rain falls. I sit on a bench wondering why did I fly all the way from L.A. At that moment a very aggressive mime starts to bother me. Turns out he is not a mime but a mugger and steals my purse. I am now a foreign city without my passport or money. I look up at the sky and ala Nancy Kerrigan I scream "WHHHHYYYY?!" I find a police station and there is a kind officer, who tries to help me. He too knows disappointment. He used to work security at Hermes but got fired after Oprah had, as she called it, "her Crash moment." He wasn't the one who wouldn't let her in but he was let go like everyone else on that shift. "Fate can be a cruel mistress," he said. While he tried to call the American Embassy, I took a nap on one of the hard benches.

I woke up to a major commotion. The streets were filled with chaos. It was a strike protesting the opening of a Pinkberry. First Disney Paris, then McDonalds and Starbucks and now frozen yogurt? A line had to be drawn. The Parisians were against eating a substance called yogurt that had no milk in it. What would happen to the French cows if Pinkberry conquered France? The police station cleared out, they had more important things to worry about. I walked outside and tried not to get trampled. In the distance I saw the mime eating a large Pinkberry yogurt topped with strawberries. I gave chase. We ran through colorful markets and bumped into French people who said Merde!

I almost caught up to him but he was too quick. I crossed the most beautiful bridge in Paris and yelled "Help, stop that mime!" A tall, very handsome guy grabbed him. It was FH man! He walked over and gave me my purse. He didn't ask how or why I was there. We kissed. There were fireworks, literally. True, it was not a holiday and the middle of the day but a rom com ending practically demands such things.

The End.

Fires, the movie ONCE, annoying neighbors

I am back in Los Angeles. It is hot and it's going to be 92 degrees tomorrow! I guess I won't be wearing the winter jacket I bought in Toronto at Mountain Equipment Co-op any time soon.

There was/is a massive fire in Malibu. A church and a 17 million dollar home were among the structures that burned down. The Santa Ana winds are fierce which is a problem. As we flew into LAX we saw that the entire basin was covered by smoke. As bad as the Malibu fires are, San Diego county is in big trouble. Over 250,000 people had to be evacuated. One town pop. 36,000 has been demolished. There are also fires in Big Bear, Santa Clarita and north of us.

On the plane I watched the movie ONCE. I wanted to see this little gem of a movie earlier but missed it. It's an indie movie from Ireland that won the Audience Award at this year's Sundance Film Festival. I loved this movie. The music was great and moving. Fox Searchlight distributed the movie here in the U.S. and I assume it will be out on DVD soon. I guess you can say it's a romantic comedy/musical.

I have been gone for two months. Why when the car service dropped me off was my annoying neighbor sitting where I left him? I bet he didn't even move from that spot. He lives in the building next door. His balcony looks down unto my patio. He does nothing but smoke all day and yell at his wife. I'm not sure where he is from, he moved here recently. He speaks very loudly to my next door neighbor (the one with the little tea cup dog that barks non-stop) and carries on a long conversation.

Oh well, what can you do?

FH man sent me an email from France wondering why I wasn't there. Sounds like things are going well and everyone I've heard from said the food is amazing. sigh.

The write stuff.

Today is my last day in Toronto. I am flying out tomorrow morning back to Los Angeles. It is sunny and mild today. I think I will go out for a walk this afternoon.

Yesterday I started the final rewrite of my novel. I have not touched it in almost two months. I must have been crazy to think I could write during production. I was waiting for my freelance editor to send me her line edits but she just had a baby. Hopefully I will get the ms next week. In the meantime I can continue to write.

I created a playlist on my iTunes with 120 songs for this rewrite. Most of list is compiled of songs I heard when I was in Italy or when I was working on earlier drafts.

I am excited to be writing again. I reread Walter Mosley's book on writing and got inspired.

Said good-bye to FH man.

I am sad. We might meet up in L.A. or Rome. Who knows. He leaves tomorrow and we had lunch today.

(Okay, I am not making this up. Al Green's "Tired of Being Alone" just came on my iPod. I think I will go slit my wrists now.)

FH and I talked about his break up with his ex-wife. I get why he is not going to be in a serious relationship any time soon. It was a brutal split for him. Personally I don't know how anyone comes out of a situation like that and not be bitter or closed off.

I starting thinking of how we read people. Because of his looks and all his traveling, food, friends, music interests, I thought he might be a player at first but he isn't at all. He is actually from a small Canadian city, down to earth and while extremely flirty is kind of traditional. I don't think he knows how other people (esp. women) see him. He was with his ex for a long time, so he has been out of the dating scene for a long time. To hop back in at 37 when you thought you were going to be with your best friend for the rest of your life, most be difficult.

I remember a conversation I had with my friend's fiancee. She left L.A., moved back to New York City and met him shortly thereafter. He is Swedish but has no accent. People assume he is very well put together American (ha). I asked him what surprised him about living in the States. One thing he mentioned was dating. He is in his late 30s. The women he went out with here were under tremendous pressure to get that ring. He said back home, people go out in groups a lot and once your relationship is serious you have a pretty strong foundation. He felt it was the reverse here. People get very serious quickly before they really know each other. They put very high expectations on the relationship that most cannot meet or sustain.

I think he has a point. I wonder why I had a moment of "what is going on here?", I mean I just met him a few weeks ago. I had some friends saying to me, "you need to close the deal." Really? Why? Anyway, I had fun, he said he enjoying getting to know me and going out.

BTW, we went to Beer Bistro on King Street. He had this butternut squash ravioli that was amazing. They have a very wide selection of beers and offer pairing suggestions on the menu. My beer was excellent, of course I can't remember the name.

(Now U2's "Beautiful Day" is playing. Someone is messing with me today. :)

It's a Wrap.

Today was the last day of shooting. We were in the middle of a farm. Very beautiful.

Last night we had the official Toronto wrap party. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I had two pints of beer, which was a pint and a half too many. My boss kept walking over to our table because we (five women) were somewhat loud with our laughter and he wanted to know what was so funny. One of our most innocent looking and classy co-workers was telling us some of her dating stories. All I have to say is...there are some freaky men out there. Haha

We got into a heavy conversation about religion, spirituality, and relationships. Several members of the cast and crew were playing poker. I stayed away from the table. There is no need for me to lose money. FH man did okay and I enjoyed the walk home.

After the last shot today, everyone was hugging each other and saying good-bye. This has been one of the nicest and hard-working crews I have worked with. One of my co-workers heard me mention the new John Grisham book PLAYING FOR PIZZA. Of course I have to read it because it is yet another book about an American expat in Italy. When I went back to set yesterday, she had bought it for me as a gift. What a nice surprise.

Clubbing, Niagara Falls, and a few tears.

I had a great weekend.

Saturday night I met FH man and some other members of the crew at Circa. It used to be called Lucid. It's on John Street, 4 floors, with 9 bars and a capacity of 3,000. It was quite a scene. Each space has its own DJ playing different genres of music. At first we were upstairs then went down to a VIP room to hang out. The music was fantastic. I danced with a few of my co-workers and had so much fun. There was a bouncer who was a little too touchy feely but he was nice. He introduced me to one of his co-workers, a young college student. His parents were from Senegal and the Congo but he grew up in Italy and spoke 5 languages. We talked for a while and he was so sweet to not laugh at my crazy Italian/English conversation. Around 2:30 (after a few drinks) I was wiped out and walked with FH man. He said he wanted to come to the falls with me but he had to pack up his apartment. He is going to be traveling in the Middle East after the movie wraps.

The Falls are incredible. If you are in Toronto, it's well worth drive but get there early. The crowds are insane. The area around the Falls is pretty tacky. Lots of wax museums. I drove to a cute town called Niagara on the Lake for lunch. I ate at Shaw's Wine Bar, not cheap (my burger was $20) but the food was good.

This morning as I drove on the Don Valley Parkway on my way to set, I remembered I'm leaving a week from today. Some tears where shed. :(

A shot of the Horseshoe Falls which are on the Canadian side. The Amerian Falls are more narrow.


Uhmm, that is a lot of water


I declined to take this boat ride. I can't swim.


Look how high the mist rises. At first I was bummed that it was so cloudy but I now I think the photos look interesting in this light.


Standing on the edge. The sound of the water is deafening.


I wondered what happed to Taylor "Tell It To My Heart' Dayne.

Miracles do happen...I went on a date.

Okay so most people would think "so what, big deal. I have dates all the time." Since I am not doing online dating my options are very, very limited. I did not have a single date in '06 and I believe I didn't in '05 either. Could it be possible I didn't have one in '04 either? What the hell? This could give a woman a complex or something.

Let's see I have been in Toronto for less than two month and I have had more dates here than the last 3 maybe 4 years in Los Angeles. I wrote the following on New Year's day as one of my resolutions for '07:

"Go on at least one proper date. Not sure how I will accomplish this goal but I figured it wouldn't hurt to say it out loud. I am so ovah this "strike". My mom asked my brother in law during the holiday about fixing me up with one of his friends. Between my hairstyle and my single status she is very concerned about me."

FH man and I went to Hiro's on King for lunch. Hiro Yoshida is considered one of the best sushi chef's in Toronto. FH loves to eat and is a lot more adventurous than I. He ordered the Omakase style menu. Hiro makes several courses and you eat what he makes for you, including monkfish liver (FH insisted I try some of his and it was was very good). I ordered from the menu, included a couple dishes FH recommended. Of course he knows Hiro. I wish someone had told me the wasabi is put in the sushi, not on the side like most places I've been to in L.A. My eyes were watering. At one point I grabbed FH's arm for support. It felt like I had snorted the wasabi. haha

We had sake and talked for hours. The food was so delicious. When the bill came I reached for my wallet but homeslice whipped a card before I could even see the check. We might stop by a party tonight.

After lunch I went to set. I had to sit outside all night because our location (a restaurant) was too tight for the video monitors. We wrapped the indoor location at 2:00 a.m. then I was in a van following a camera rigged car for the next three hours as we drove up and down Lakeshore Blvd. By the time I got dropped off at base camp and drove home it was almost 6 in the morning. I tried to sleep in, still work up early and just got back from the gym. If I am to stay up at all tonight I will have to take a nap or something this afternoon,

Women's Murder Club, FH man is quite fit, Jude and Drew

Tonight is the premiere of Women's Murder Club on ABC at 9:00 p.m. (check your local listings). The show has good buzz and is based on a series of James Patterson books. However, the only reason I'm writing about it is because Nichelle Tramble is one of the writers. She is a very talented novelist and this is her first TV writing job. I will be working but wanted to spread the word. Go Nichelle!!

Yesterday was a very interesting day. These split days are killing me! I still wake up early but our call time was at 12:30 p.m. and we shoot unilt 1:00 in the morning. We were on a stage at a studio for half the day. All the stages were busy. The HULK was next door, REPO MAMBO was on the other side, GREY GARDENS was shooting as well.

FH man gave me a big hug when I arrived on set. He is 6'2 so in the past the hugs were more like a shoulder to shoulder thing as he would bend down (I'm 5'2). Yesterday was a full on hug and he was wearing a T-shirt. As my British friends would say "he is quite fit", meaning hot, fine however you want to call it. He is not too cut, just athletic, like a soccer player or swimmer. He is in his mid 30s and works out. I am very happy about that.

Last night we were shooting on a rooftop. It was FREEZING and started to rain. FH came over and gave me another hug to try and warm me up. At one point I had to go inside. I couldn't feel my toes. Meanwhile our Gaffer (a native Canadian) was wearing shorts. Tonight is supposed to be even colder and we are shooting today from 4:30 p.m. to 6 in the morning. I do not like night shoots. To make things worse, FH man won't be there (maybe it's for the best. I get very punchy without sleep. I start singing, acting out scences with co-workers, anything to stay up.) FH man and I are supposed to meet for lunch today. We'll see.

I stopped by the REPO set to see if Forest was back in his trailer. One of our ADs is now working on that movie. When I was talking to him Jude Law walked out. He had a crazy hair-do for the movie, it's set in the future. I am more of a tall, dark, and handsome kind of woman but damn, pictures do him no justice, he is stunning. I was with a co-worker and we said "Jude is very attractive." The AD said "Copy that, do you want me to tell him?" To which I replied "Yes, go tell Jude Law we said he is fine." ha

I haven't seen Forest since he won the Oscar for LAST KING OF SCOTLAND. He was amazing in that movie. He kept telling me I looked happy, great etc. He is one of the few people I know in L.A. who has seen me up here and he couldn't believe the difference in my attitude. Last time he saw me, I was, perhaps, kind of bitter about how our company had shut down. Now I realize had I not lost my job two weeks before Christmas, and had all that drama going on in my life I would not have starting writing again and I def. would not have had the same experiences in Rome.

After our conversation, I went to watch my boss's photo shoot for a potential poster for our movie. He knows Forest and I wanted to see the shoot and tell him Forest was next door. While walking over I saw Drew Barrymore (She looked very glam in her costume. I missed Jessica Lange). HBO is shooting GREY GARDENS based on the famous documentary which was turned in a stage play. If you get a chance to see the doc, please do. It is so bizarre! One of the women is Jackie Onassis' aunt. It's about a mother and daughter (Big Edie, Litte Edie) living in this huge mansion in the Hamptons that is falling apart. Many art directors, fashion designers, and other creative people reference this doc.

I tried to sleep in today. I still woke up early. Just got back from the gym. I have no idea how I am going to stay up tonight. I am too old for all nighters. haha

Writer's striking November 1st? Nooooooo

It is not looking good in Hollywood. One friend told me she heard the studios will "lock out" the writers. The studios have already put the word out, they are not buying anything until they see what happens with the strike. The two sides are so far apart, everyone was assuming there would be strike, but in June '08 when the directors and actor's contracts were up.

The writers would actually cause more damage if they strike now. TV would be screwed. The entire season would come to a grinding halt until the strike was over. Any feature film shooting now or 1st quarter next year that needs any kind of script work would also be in trouble.

Most members of the Writer's Guild are not rich Hollywood players who make $1 million a script. Writers are treated like crap in Hollywood. I have had several projects where writers were hired and fired like it's not a big deal. I think we forget without a script there is no movie.

If this strike lasts long, the business will take months to recover. Personally, I will be out of job. The company said they would try to pay me part time or something but that would barely cover my rent. I am not going to stress out about it. If they go out November 1st I hope I could keep my job until at least the end of the year.

This would move up my timetable for Italy. There is no need for me to stay in L.A. without a job.

Finally, back in Toronto.

We were shooting in Hamilton last week. So was the HULK, which seems to be following us everywhere. Their movie has a massive budget compared to ours. One of our crew members joked that he saw a producer of the HULK driving around Toronto throwing cash out the window.

Hamilton is a steel town and very, um interesting. One night FH man and I went to dinner and bumped into a bunch of the crew. We ended up eating with half the camera dept. which was fun. One person said to me "Can you get crafty (craft services) a new blender? We need our protein shakes in the morning. You're powerful right, can you take of it?" ha.

FH did walk me back to me hotel (what a gentleman). I am salty at him today however, because I don't get what the hell is going on. Long story. We'll see what happens this week.

I took some photos using natural light. I turned off the flash and increased the ISO (our set decorator has the same camera and showed me how to do it).

Sunrise over a steel mill. The smoke and flames remind me of MAD MAX.



Lights, camera, action. We wanted to make this shot look like a rainy day in Halifax. We had a rain machine and a camera on a crane.



Creepy. This is in an old glass factory. We had to wear masks for two days. I cannot imagine working in a place like this. All the controls boards were in English and Portuguese because of the large number of immigrants who worked there.

"Are you going to be depressed when you come back?

After all you were in pretty bad state after you returned from Rome and you were only gone for a week. How are you feeling after two months in Toronto? Will you be able to come back here?" said by my boss.

I replied, "I can't predict the future. Who knows how I will feel in two weeks?"

If I worked for a bigger, more impersonal company I doubt we would even have these conversations. The production company I work for is small and my two immediate bosses are women. One is from NYC married with two young girls. She feels about L.A. the way I do despite living here for years.

My other boss is a native Angeleno. Grew up in Beverly Hills and both parents were a big deal in the entertainment business. She has two older kids. Both of them couldn't be nicer and caring. We talk about eveything, which can be a bad thing sometimes. I don't want to be seen as a lame duck executive but they can read me pretty well. At some point I have to tell them I am going to move to Italy.

I don't think they will be surprised. The day I received my French Passport, they asked me when I was moving overseas. Ha.

A good friend sent me the link below. This guy is a friend of a friend and was on Big Brother (I never watched the show but I have met him a couple times with my friend.) He was listed in some mag (Us or People?) as a hot bachelor. He is part owner with Ashton Kutcher of a bunch of restaurants in L.A. I have been to two of them and never need to go to any of them again. The food is horrible yet the places are packed. I do not get going to a bad restaurant because one of the owners is a celebrity. There are too many incredible places to eat in L.A. for me to spend any money at a place like Dolce.

I watched part of this. I couldn't stomach the whole thing. This quest for fame at all cost is bizarre to me. Why would someone think is was a good idea to go to his doctor/friend on national TV to removed a wart from his penis? ugh. I can't believe women throw themselves at this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q18a8V7xcoo

I am calling an end to the strike.

At least outside of Los Angeles. Due to improved conditions I have decided to end my strike. For those new to this blog, I called a "strike" because of the deplorable dating conditions in Los Angeles. I felt I was taking charge of a situation that was forced upon me.

However, since I have been in Toronto, the talks have been going smoothly.

I cannot speak as to what will happen upon my return to the city of Angels. I was speaking to another producer who is up here for her film and she tells me the situation is unchanged.

She thought I was making things up about Toronto. Once she stepped off plane, she knew I spoke the truth. She has extended her trip. She must get her date on before she returns. Who knows when she will have one again?

It's fall...Venice, new shows, new movies, new clothes, very exciting

FH man is looking especially handsome and rugged today. We are shooting on a boat and it's cold.

This is my favorite season. I am so happy I get spend part of it in a city where there is actually a climate change.

Fall always meant new beginnings to me, more so than spring. I think it's because of the school calendar. I loved back to school shopping despite conversations with my mom like this:

8th grade

Me: "Mom can I get a pair of Guess jeans?"

Mom: "No. They are too expensive."

Me: "No they're not. All the girls have them."

Mom: Sucks her teeth loudly and looks very annoyed. "Why do I care what the other girls are wearing? You are going to school to get an education, not for a fashion show. Don't bother me with this foolishness again."

Me: Not crazy enough to argue with a salty West Indian woman. I let it drop and dream of the day I can buy my own clothes.


I was one of those geeky kids who salivated over the Mead notesbooks and binders. Something about the clean, blank pages made me excited...as if the new school year would bring great things to write down. In high school, fall meant football games on Saturdays and band competitions on Sundays. I got to spend the entire weekend out of the house after a long summer.

In the film world fall is the season of the smart and/or adult movies as we gear up for the awards season. I cannot wait to see P.T. Anderson's THERE WILL BE BLOOD, with Daniel Day Lewis. I think Anderson is a very interesting director and Mr. Lewis is one of the fiercest actors on the freaking planet. He hardly acts anymore but when he does, even when the movie is flawed (GANGS OF NEW YORK) you cannot stop watching him. He really commits, to the point where it must be a little scary to star opposite him. I wonder what Cameron Diaz (who was completely miscast) thought about working with him.

Being in production, I haven't had a chance to see all the new TV shows for fall. I did catch DIRTY, SEXY, MONEY and thought it was hilarious. The mean, snarky Episcoplian priest cracked me up. The show is like DYNASTY but with better clothes. Great cast and writing.

I caught another ABC show, PRIVATE PRACTICE. What the hell is this? Why are grown people acting like children? It's too silly.

Speaking of grown people, according to the mags, fall clothes are going to be more sophisticated. Finally! I wished I lived in a cooler climate so I could wear tights, gloves, the wool pencil skirts etc. I am so over the baby doll dresses (which look horrible on most body types) and the weird child-like clothes that have been popular the last few seasons. With my body type I like clothes that have more structure.

One new thing I am very excited about is my "post production/I am done (I will be by then) with my book" trip. I am using my left over per diem money to go to Venice for Thanksgiving. The weather will be a crapshoot but there will be fewer tourists and hotels are cheaper that time of year (however the low dollar is still killing me and it keeps dropping!) I have to stop looking at the exchange rates online and just enjoy the trip. I hear Venice can be pricey but I'm sure I will find good places to eat that will not break the bank. I am going for a week, instead of for only a 3 or 4 days (that would be a very long flight from L.A. for such a short period of time). I am looking forward to taking it easy and not running around trying to see everything on a checklist. That is the one big advantage of traveling by yourself to big cities, you are own your own schedule.

Nuit Blanche in Toronto w/FH man

Toronto had it's 2nd Annual Nuit Blanche (white night) last night. This all night affair was started in Paris and is also very big in Rome (Notte Bianca). I don't think any American cities do this specific event. In Toronto the focus is on contemporary art with galleries and many bars/restaurants open all night. Several streets were closed to car traffic and there were installations in the parks.

After we wrapped for the day yesterday, FH man asked me if I wanted to check out some art and maybe get some dinner. We went to Olive and Lemon for dinner (more on that later) and then walked for miles. The streets were packed. FH man said the crowds were much bigger this year as more people become aware of the event. We saw some good, bad, and just bizarre works of art. We bumped into a bunch of his friends and two actors from our movie.

I had a great time but I don't think it was a full on date, date. He did say after he walked me home (which was out of his way) we should go to this sushi place next. The kiss was a kinda weird cheek/lips hybrid. Haha Maybe he is just super flirty for the sake of being flirty, which is fun and fine with me.

One thing I thought was interesting was when we were walking through the massive crowds, sometimes he would end up in front of me and kept walking. I could have been trampled to death and he wouldn't have noticed. We went semi-dutch on dinner, with him paying more but then he had more food.

Perhaps I have been completely spoiled by my male Italian friends. You can't even cross the street with them without them holding your arm. And paying for dinner? Please, I have to beg them to let me pay sometimes.

Speaking of Italian, Olive & Lemon is owned by chef Giancarlo Carnevale who is Sicilian. The food and service were amazing. FH man does know the chef so maybe that had something to do with the service. The bruschetta was so simple, bread grilled with olive oil, garlic rubbed on it and some sea salt but so good. There was a fennel, olive topping on the side....outstanding.

I had grilled squid w/lemon and olive oil for my starter and the scallop risotto for my main course. I passed on dessert. I could not eat another bite. The risotto was so light and flavorful. FH introduced me to Giancarlo. He said that next time in Rome I need to look up a journalist friend of his who is fantastic. He warned me that she is "very Roman"...meaning blunt. FH man knows her as well and thinks the world of her. She used to live in Toronto.

Today on my only day off, I am meeting a producer in from L.A. for brunch and later a former agent who quit Hollywood and moved back home to Toronto. The latter is a friend of a friend. I have a zillions things to do including packing because we are shooting way out this week and most of the crew is staying overnight. I am going to for the first two nights then see how I feel about the long drive. We are staying in blah hotels (everything is sold out because of all the other movies shooting here now) and I'd rather stay in my own bed. I don't mind a long drive when I'm going against the flow of traffic.

Yesterday we were shooting in Miississauga and were right by the lake. Very pretty area.

Toronto, a few of my favorite 'Tings

We are shooting way out and the commute is not fun. After we wrapped yesterday I went to Loblaws (sp) to get some groceries.

I found a very nice surprise TING soda! There is one store in L.A. that sells tiny bottles of Ting for $2.00. I found it here in the soda aisle near the Coke, Pespi etc for $.99. Ting is a delicious grapefruit soda from Jamaica. I'm happy I saw the 'ting no.

FH continues to bring his flirt on. We have to cool it a little with the set conversations because now some of my co-workers are making comments like "Oh your lipgloss is very pretty, did FH notice?"

Terroni's. They are opening a restaurant across from the Grove in Los Angeles. I went back to the same place and ordered the same darn pizza. Their biscotti is delicious. I am going to try my best not to eat there this weekend.

Jamaican patties. One of the ADs had some delivered to the set last week. Still thinking about that nice flaky pastry and the filling.

The view from the gym in my building. I watch the sun rise, casting a cool light on the skyscrapers downtown and can see Lake Ontario.

Less celebrity news. There is Us mag and the others up here along with E! but the local news doesn't really talk about that stuff unless it had something to do with the Film Festival.

Nice neighbors. Everyone I have met in my building is so nice.

Quiet. I realized last night, I never hear my neighbors. When I lived in NYC, you couldn't hear a thing. The walls were thick. In my apt. in L.A. I hear everything. People having sex, the stupid teacup dog next door that barks all the time, the obnoxious man in the building across from me who does nothing all day but smoke on his balcony (which is why I never sit on my patio anymore, no privacy and the smoke is annoying), the valet guys yelling "vamamos!" and car alarms going off. Not relaxing at all.

Our cast and crew. One of our actresses wrapped the other day and said this was one of the most wonderful sets she has been on. Several of our crew members will be starting the Jude Law/Forest Whitaker movie the week after we wrap in Toronto. Working in physical production is so different from the development world back in L.A. The crew works in the movie business but they have lives. It's so weird. ha

Next week is already October 1st. I can't believe it.

Roma - the remix

Thanks to every one who gave me advice, told me their point of view and/or offered words of encouragement on yesterday's post. It has been very lively discussion.

So I may not be molto stupida but I might be crazy. Apparently Italy is the most corrupt, disorganized, economically challenged member of the G8 and yet I still want to move. :)

I received an email from my friend who got back from Florence the other day and we just spoke for over an hour. She is planning to move next year. She does have so much more to lose than I. She has a great job (she's a prosecutor so it's not like she could do that job in Italy, she doesn't know Italian law) and a nice home, etc. She was born in London (her parents are Jamaican) but has lived in Los Angeles since she was ten. She does have deeper roots here. We met in Italian class a few years ago and she is one of my few non-entertainment industry friends out here.

We are going support each other in this Italy madness. My friend has spent a lot of time in Italy and has a huge network of friends both native and expats. I haven't met any black expats in Rome...maybe they are all in Florence. My friend seems to know all of them. Most are women in their 30s and 40s, they all have come for different reasons. One used to be a banker, with a big house in Jersey and an X5. Now she rides a bike (not a motorino but a 10 speed or something). My friend said she knows her lifestyle will change but she is not down with the bike thing. haha

I talked to her about all the negatives and I know it's bad. My friend and I were saying the pros at this point still greatly outweigh the cons. If things don't work out, I will not be moving back to Los Angeles. I will either move to France or St. Martin to be close to my family. Of course that would mean I would have to learn another language.

I am not going to get into a point counter point debate about which country is more screwed up. If you scratch the surface you will find some ugly things in both places. I am in my early 40s. I could either take a chance now or sit here and be miserable. I am middle aged now (yes I do look younger but the numbers are climbing up there) and don't have a lot of time to enjoy the rest of my life before I'm so old I will need a walker.

In talking to J it was clear my creative side won out. I think about the things I love about my friends and time in Italy and you can't do a pie chart when it come to feelings, matters of the heart or soul. This might sound silly and not grounded but I'm a writer. I need to be in a place that moves me, end of story (no pun intended).

In L.A. I can't even tell you what I did last week. I have no sense of time passing etc. but I can tell you exactly what I did in April 2005, the first time I went to Rome. What I saw, who I met, what and where I ate, all those images and feelings were burned into my memory.

The countdowm to Rome begins now. When I get to Los Angeles, I will call the director of the Italian Film Commission, who I met at luncheon earlier in the year. I will see if I can talk to the woman who runs Sony Pictures International in New York, which overseas Sony Italia. I already met with the head of Warner Italia last time I was in Rome (through a friend who is an exec at Warner Bros here). I will see what I can find out about the Rome Film Festival. I'm not ruling out doing something non-film related but I feel it makes sense to start with where my contacts are. My former boss is scheduled to shoot a movie in Italy next year and he spends a lot of time there. He might have some advice.

I will get my bio and my resume translated and schedule a trip next year just to go on meetings.

I might end up in Siena, Milan, or Florence instead, who knows, but God willing in '08 I will be on my way to Italia.

Am I molto stupida?

First let me start off by saying FH man walked up to me on set and gave me a kiss (cheek) and hug this morning. I was a little taken aback. There were other crew members around. LOL.

I have been reading more of the Expats in Italy website. This site and the various blogs are invaluable, it's important to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. That said, I wonder if I'm being ridiculously naive.

Lately the negativity on Italy has been pretty high (not on all the blogs), as in it's a third world country with first world prices, the dollar is at an all time low, the red tape is insane, it's impossible to get a job etc.

Why do I still want to move when many American expats say Italy is awful/going to hell in a handbasket? I feel that way about the U.S. so I might as well be in a country where I like the food? No seriously, maybe I should have my head examined. I know what my heart feels but that doesn't put food on the table or would pay my rent.

I don't have kids and I'm not moving to be with an Italian boyfriend or a husband who was transfered. My entire family (with the exception of my siblings) is foreign so I am used to dealing with a culture that is very different from the U.S.

Being in Toronto has been great as far as giving me some time to really think about what I'm going to do. Last week I was saying to a friend book or no book I have to leave Los Angeles, the sooner the better. Then over the weekend I'm reading Expats in Italy and got scared. What if I move and run out of money? I can't move back and get another job in Hollywood. Here it's out of sight out of mind. What if I never become fluent? What if I can't afford to write full time and can't find a job?

I have a couple of Italian friends in Rome who say I'm over thinking things, just move and they will help me find a job (they are working actors and one is friends with an Italian actor who is married to an American who used to work for Miramax. Now she works for one of the top production companies in Italy). My life in L.A. is expensive, I don't make a lot of money (esp. for my title and experience), the business is all about nepotism and is racist, sexist, and ageist, however here I speak the language and don't have to worry about a horrible exchange rate.

On the other hand my day-to-day life in Los Angeles is killing my spirit. I was speaking to a friend who said at my age what am I waiting for? I cannot afford mentally to wait until I'm 50 to start living my life. I have done the hard core working myself to death thing since the day I graduated from college and for what? My last job I worked myself to the point where a doctor told me the stress was the cause of my massive migranes and I should think about another profession. Then the company shuts down and after three years of having no life I received two weeks severance. Thanks boss! There is no job sercurity in what I do so believe me I am not moving to Italy for career reasons.

It was drilled into my head that as a black American you have to be twice as good to move up in a meritocracy. Then I moved out here. Whatever. Maybe that is the case at IBM or Pac Bell but that's not my experience. There are people in my business who can't read (not making this up...people have to read scripts to them) and they make millions a year. So much for having a good work ethic. I should have slept with a President of Production of a studio or something. I kid!

I decided to finally sit down and start writing again. It's not practical. All the hours I spent working on my novel I will never get back. What if it sucks, what if it doesn't sell? Do I discount the experience? I decided no. I'm tired of living this life where the only thing that matters is how much money you make and moving up some stupid ladder. When I'm on my death bed I'm not going to be sitting there saying damn, I should have read more bad scripts. I feel the person I've become is completely at odds with what was important to me.

I was on set today talking with one the actors and he told me he was a musician and used to be in band. I realized three of our leads are not only very talented actors but also musicians and writers. They are artists not celebs. I started to think about what I love to do and why I moved out here. While I like nice things (shoes, bags etc), it's the arts and being around creative people that I love. Books, music, art, film, magazines, architecture/design, dance, these are the things I have loved all my life. The idea that I could live in a country where the arts are valued is more important to me than not having a dryer (haha, I say that now).

Last week I was thinking if Rome (which still has cheaper housing than L.A. and I wouldn't need a car) was out my reach financially, maybe I would look at a smaller city and try to find some kind of job to supplement the movie production bonus while I write. I have no savings to speak of so if I have to be broke, I'd rather be in a place where I don't feel like shit everyday because I not clearing a million plus a year. I know people who live in houses worth over three million dollars and claim they are broke and their salary as an agent is too low. I cannot relate.

Sorry for the rambling post but there is a battle royale going on between my pratical side and the creative side.

Drama from L.A. rears its ugly head. FH man.

Friday after we wrapped for the day I was feeling great. The week of shooting was going well, I received the first payment of my production bonus, the weather was glorious, my clothes are getting looser, and FH man asked me out. I received a called from my immediate boss stressed out about a call she received from our agent regarding a project. I was walking toward Eaton Centre on Yonge Street having a freak out. She had to take a call so by the time I walked into the Geox store I was not in a good mood.

I have been looking for comfy but nice shoes. Working 14 hour days and standing for a big chunk of the time is not kind to your feet. I saw other brands at another shoe store but realized that what little money I might save was not worth the lesser quality. I bit the bullet and bought a pair of flats. When I walked into the store the CD that was playing was Eros Ramazzotti's "Calma Apparente", which bought a smile to my face. The saleslady said they only play Italian music. The Italian based company is expanding in the U.S. The shoes I bought are so comfortable and yet stylish.

I left the store, more calls from L.A. I tossed and turned all night then wrote an email to our agents at 5:00 a.m. yesterday morning. Worked out, walked to set, and my boss asked me what wrong. I asked him the same thing. He says things are great, don't worry etc. So basically I was spun out into a frenzy for no reason. ugh! I realize this happens all the time in my business. I can do without it.

When I had received the first call, I had just dropped off FH man. He was getting something taken care of with his car and I gave him a ride home. He asked me if I wanted to go to the Beastie Boy's after party with him if he went, (Friday was a long day and the party wouldn't start until 12:30. I had to be on set at 7:30 the next day). He called me later that evening and said he wasn't going to go but maybe he could get us tickets for the concert Saturday night. I actually had plans (shocking). He didn't work yesterday but I will see him on Monday.

Thursday night we walked home together again. This time we stood outside talking for over an hour. He had some great film production horror stories about stars behaving badly.

Last night I went to meet one of my co-workers, Karen, for drinks on College Street in Little Italy. She lives near there and seems to know everyone. Her family is from Nevis and she introduced me to a friend of her's who is also from Nevis. This guy was too damn funny. He works in film and is a musician. He was walking past our table and was only going to sit down for a minute. An hour later after discussing everything under the sun, he went to work.

Later in the evening he said to me "you are only 5'2 but so sexy, why are you single?" haha. He co-owns a bar/club and we went there after having a few classes of wine on the patio of Sotto Voce. I met a bunch of their friends, a very diverse crowd of Canadians, Bosnians, Jamaicans, Trinidadians, and British folks. Karen's friend loves Rome and told me not to go back to Los Angeles, it's no place for a West Indian. ha. I told him and Karen I'm an American born in New York City. They both sucked their teeth and said "Please. You can take the girl out of the Caribbean but not the Caribbean out of the girl". I reminded them that was not born there (I did/do spend a lot of time there) and they dismissed that statement, saying I needed to stop speaking "stupidness" my parents are West Indian and so am I. They were born in London and grew up in Toronto but they are very much in touch with their Nevis roots.

Karen and I left and went to another place up the street. It was the size of someone's living room and packed. Great music, we said hi to that owner then I had to go home. We split a cab and Karen went on to a end of summer party. She's older than me and I don't know how she can stay up.

A walk with FH man and just say no to Puffy.

Two cops on set asked me where my car was and if I needed a ride. Earlier this month the HULK was filming in the same area we were in yesterday. A shooting happen and they had to shut down production for the day. The area is not safe at night.

I walked to set that morning. FH did as well. He asked me if I wanted to walk together. One my co-workers later asked me if I wanted a ride and someone else said "no FH is walking with her." She had over heard our conversation and was glad I wouldn't be by myself. Folks on this set are very caring. :)

FH and I were talking about music with our director's young (early 20s) assistant. I'm glad he was there so I didn't feel old when FH (who is maybe 5 or 6 years younger than me) mentioned some hip-hop groups I have never heard of. We were talking about Talib and The Roots when FH man started talking about all these other east coast-based rappers. The young assistant who is a hip-hop head didn't know them either.

I laughed when FH man and the assistant went on an anti-Puffy rant. Puffy is great at marketing but to call that man a rapper is an outrage! When I first hear the song "Missing You" which sampled the entire Police song "Every Breath You Take" I was horrified. It's an abomination!!! I'm not anti-samples per se but damn be creative, don't rip off the whole song.

FH man asked what happend to Res. He thinks she is so talented and beautiful. First I was suprised that he knew who she was, two I thought, he has good taste. I told him in the States they didn't know how to market her music and she was not considered beautiful by our music industry standards. He told me I missed great Sly and Robbie (big musicians/producers from Jamaica) and Toots and the Maytals concerts. Toots is old school, the surviving members must be in their 60s now. This group gave the genre know as Reggae it's name. They were also one of the pioneers of Ska music.

The walk home was fun. It wasn't that late so it felt pretty safe.

When he got to my door, he gave me a kiss (on the check) and hug.

Okay off to watch dailies then back to set. It's going to be a long day.

Let's hear it for great New York boobs!!

I did not see the David Chappelle episode where he went up to women in New York City and said "You have great New York boobs." My sister said it was hilarious. She has been on my case to dress less preppy.

I rarely show off my cleavage. Today I wore a green scooped-neck top I bought at Anthropologie but have only worn once.

This afternoon FH man said he wanted to take me to a great italian restaurant where the chef and owner is a good friend of his. Coincidence? Maybe.(haha)

I must add that he came over and gave me a hug when I said I couldn't breathe (we were shooting in a garage and the fumes were not fun) and during a conversation with another crew member he kept touching my arm or my shoulder. We were discussing something very important: The genius that is South Park's Team America: World Police movie and how the MPAA was going to slap a NC-17 on it because of the puppet sex. Then FH and the other crew member (a sweet young lady), proceeded to tell me what was on the DVD version. I don't consider myself a prude yet some of these things I have never heard of before....and never need to again! Speaking of sex, he said (responding to a comment from our co-worker) he doesn't understand why someone would take drugs to enhance their orgasm, they are intense already. I told myself "you are a professional woman, fix your face."

He is 6'2, loves food, movies, photography, and music among other things. Me like.

Today is a long and intense shooting day but I'm so happy to be here. Call time was late today, 7:30 a.m. (instead of 6:00), so I went to the gym at 5:30, worked out and later walked to the set. Monday and Tuesday we shot downtown and I walked home both days. The weather has been spectacular and we shot outside yesterday and Monday afternoon. All this walking is great.

The New York Times Wedding Announcements

Otherwise known as the "Women's sport pages" are one of my favorite things to read. Yes, I am single but I love how they write the stories up. These days it's easy to be cynical, to believe in the worst of people and that no one cares about romance. Sometimes I do think these things. Then I look at my family, my friends, and read the NYTs wedding annoncements and know that is not true.

For some reason this annoucement choked me up. Maybe it's the way the reporter described their courtship and engagement.

Maybe it's because I grew up in that area and this church reminded me of the congregation in our church. Or maybe it's because on their first date Andy asked Kay if she wanted to get married and she said they should wait. He said he would ask again in a month and she said try a year.

In a country where the divorce rate is over 50 percent to believe in relationships lasting longer than the LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy (hello, didn't the last one have four endings?) is hard. It does happen. My dad said he knew the minute he met my mom that was it. She was visiting his dad (they both were on the island to see their families), he walked into the house and saw her. They celebrated their 44th wedding anniversary this summer.

I haven't yet experienced this "thunderclap thing" but I know I will.

Food, Flirting, and Fun

I am bone tired. Saturday's shooting went well but it was FREEZING. I mean 50 F, a strong wind and we were shooting outside. I don't have enough warm clothes. Of course all the native Torontonians were clowning me saying I was a wimp. After living in Los Angeles for nine years, I cannot stand cold weather. I went home after we wrapped and crashed.

Today one of my co-workers asked me if I lost weight since I've been here. I think I have, my clothes are fitting better. I have also had some great meals.

BONJOUR BRIOCHE - This east side cafe has pastries to die for. I told the production office not to bring them around anymore!

GIOVANNA's - This little place in Little Italy was packed for lunch when we went there at the last minute. We were shooting nearby at the U of T campus and my boss told me to hop in the car and we went to look for something to eat other than the pizza that was brought to set. My spaghetti with clams was delicious. We met Giovanna herself and she insisted we have some wine on the house.

TERRONI - I went to flagship one on Queen's street for lunch yesterday. There was a line out the door. I sat at the bar and had an amazing pizza. The owners of the restaurant are from Calabria (I assume the name is tongue in check) and they sell goods from the region. I had heard service could be poor because it was so busy but I sat at the bar and my waiter couldn't be nicer. I had a pizza, served Naples style- not cut, with mushrooms and a spicy calabrese salami. Perfetto. I walked a zillion miles yesterday so I had no guilt about my pizza and wine.

FH was not on set Saturday....tears. haha. He was on set today. He asked me what I thought of the magazine. I complimented him on the photos he took. He is a very talented photographer so we talked about that for a while. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about when he went into details about developing film, shutter speeds, etc.

Later in the day I was sitting by myself after a meeting and he came over and started talking. I told him I had to buy a winter coat and some warm socks. After he was done rolling his eyes. "Aren't you from New York?" he said, he gave me some ideas/store names for what I'm looking for. At one point he held my ankle to look at my shoe when I said my Pumas were not good for cold weather.

One of our departments heads who noticed all the chit-chat from the last few days, said the same thing my boss' assistant said on Saturday, enjoy the flirting but he is not going to ask out a producer on the movie. It's inappropiate and it could be awkward if things don't work out. She said maybe you can go out the last week of shooting before you leave.

This could explain why he keeps suggesting restaurants/bars/fun places to check out but never says "we should go."

Oh well, still having fun despite the early mornings and long hours.

Comment from Glamour magazine, FH man.

Today I received the following comment to my blog post about a Glamour don't. Here it is:

Hello,

I read your post about a Glamour editor's comments on hairstyles for work, and I'd like to share with you our thoughts. First, we regret the comments were made. The employee, a junior staffer, not a beauty editor, spoke to a small group of lawyers at a private luncheon without her supervisor's knowledge or approval, and her comments ”that Afros are not work appropriate” does not represent Glamour's point of view.

Secondly, immediately upon learning of it, we sought to rectify the situation. The editor has been dealt with in a very serious manner, and the entire staff has been reminded of the magazine's policies and procedures for making public appearances.

Glamour is proud of its diverse readership and celebrates the beauty of ALL women. We have responded directly and openly with readers to assure them of this fact. We have also apologized to the law firm, and we extend the same apology to you.

If you know others who were offended by this incident, To ask you to please pass along this letter. So they, too, know how sorry we are.

Sincerely,
Cindi Leive
Editor-in-Chief, Glamour

The thing that is so powerful (and a little scary) about the internet is how quickly and widely information/words can travel.



Today FH man, true to his word gave me a magazine that he worked on about food/wine etc. in Canada. He was an editor on the Toronto section. During lunch I saw the director, producer and director of photography sitting at a table I went to the end and asked if anyone was sitting there. I didn't notice FH guy until he said "yes, you are." During lunch he told me about the market close to my place, which stalls had the best food, how to make a certain dish etc.

I wish my camera battery wasn't low today. We shot at an airport and had these huge rain machines on set. Very cool looking shots. Then it did start to rain later. LOL

Tomorrow we are shooting. Call time is a little better 8:00 a.m. instead of 6:00 a.m. Not sure if FH man will be there. We are using a smaller crew. Hopefully I will have time after we wrap to work out. I like walking along the boardwalk in The Beach area. I took this shot last week.

"You always have such a great attitude.", More on FH man.

Said by one of my co-workers this morning. She also added she likes seeing me because of my optimistic, animated energy. haha. Seriously, I get it now. The universe is telling to get the hell out of Los Angeles.

Today we shot in a great area called Riverdale. This house was smoking. I loved the colors the owners used when they remodeled. The dining room was a gun metal gray type color with white moldings and silver accents. The on set props supervisor said I could take home one of the stunning flower arrangments we had done for set decorating. I was very happy...I love flowers.

I spoke to "the guy" who shall now be referred to as FH, (for f*cking hot, see yesterday's post). He chatted me up, as my British friends would say, for quite a while. He is tall, not sure maybe 6 feet (i'm only 5.2) but he was sitting down so we were eye to eye. He promised to bring in a mag his ex created that lists interesting places to eat, wine bars and spas.

Our set photographer brought over an actor friend of hers that was shooting a series nearby. This man was stunning. Tall, very chocolate, and very handsome. He was born in Toronto and his parents are Jamaican. All the women were asking "who is that man?" I did notice FH doing a double take as I was talking to stunning actor man about the biz.

I need to put out an APB on my flirting skills, presto!

My boss' assistant thinks one of our crew members (who has been described as "f*cking hot" by another member of the crew), is flirting with me.

I am at a loss.

Okay, gotta get back to set.

Six years later

Osama is chilling, making videos and my friend is still dead.

R.I.P. Nigel.