A good friend told me she was head over heels for a guy she met. The good news, she could still have those feelings, the bad news, she could still have those feelings.
She went through a tough divorce a few years ago. So while she's glad to have some romantic feeling back in her life, unrequited love, let's be honest, sucks. It doesn't matter if you're 16 or 60.
She's a screenwriter as well. Most of the writers I know are expressive and/or in tune with their emotions, very raw, close to the surface. Doesn't matter if they are screenwriters, novelist or songwriters, male or female.
There's a downside to this. While it can be helpful in writing, it can be rough for "real" life. Of course one doesn't have to be a creative person to get "twirly" about someone. I have another friend who's going through the roller-coaster thing right now. At least she's dating the guy. My friend's crush has no idea.
All I'm going to say is I'm in the middle of the same BS now and it's not cool. I'm working on a script dealing with some similar issues so I try to channel some of my twirly energy into it.
I must be a glutton for punishment because why am I listening to all these love songs? Why? Why? Why?! Damn you Sade and Maxwell.
You'd think watching GOODFELLAS, a gansta flick, I would safe but one of the best montages in film is set to the instrumental section of "Layla." Poor Eric.
Have a great weekend. I will be working and thinking about the object of my affection.
Marvin, as always, brings it in this song. The emotion, everything. Madonna working with Massive Attack did a great cover of this.
Lyrics "I Want You"
I want you the right way
I want you
But I want you to want me too
Want you to want me,baby
Just like I want you
I give you all the love I want in return sweet darlin'
But half a love is all I feel
It's too bad,It's just too sad
You don't want me now
But I'm gonna change your mind
Someway,somehow,oh baby
Repeat
This one way love is just a fantasy, oh sugar
To share is precious, pure and fair
Don't play with something you should cherish for life,oh baby
Don't you wanna care
Aint it lonely out there
Repeat
Lyrics "Layla"
What do you do when you get lonely
and nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.
Chorus: Layla, you got me on my knees.
Layla, i'm begging darlin' please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?
I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
You turned my whole world upside down.
Chorus
Let's make the best of the situation,
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way,
Or tell me all my love's in vain.
Chorus
Friday, November 06, 2009
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
My own Top Chef challenge: Fennel
Along with trying to rely less on recipes, I'm also trying to cook with new ingredients. I have never cooked fennel before.
While this vegetable is not that popular in the States, it's huge here. You see it everywhere.
I saw chef Giada de Laurentiis cooked with it several times on her Food Network show when I lived in America.
I was at the market and on a whim I bought some.
I made her Roast Fennel with Parmesan.
This dish is so easy (I used slightly less olive oil) and absolutely delicious. The salty cheese works well with the sweet fennel. I will make this one over and over again and next time I might add some pancetta.
With such a simple dish the quality of the ingredients must be excellent.
You can find this recipe in Giada's fantastic cookbook "Giada's Family Dinners".
Roasted Fennel with Parmesan
Ingredients
4 tablespoons olive oil
4 fennel bulbs, cut horizontally into 1/3-inch thick slices, fronds reserved
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/3 cup freshly shredded Parmesan
Directions
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Lightly oil the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch glass baking dish. Arrange the fennel in the dish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, then with the Parmesan. Drizzle with the oil. Bake until the fennel is fork-tender and the top is golden brown, about 45 minutes. Chop enough fennel fronds to equal 2 teaspoons, then sprinkle over the roasted fennel and serve.
Not only does it taste good, it's a pretty dish. I forgot to sprinkle the fronds over it.
While this vegetable is not that popular in the States, it's huge here. You see it everywhere.
I saw chef Giada de Laurentiis cooked with it several times on her Food Network show when I lived in America.
I was at the market and on a whim I bought some.
I made her Roast Fennel with Parmesan.
This dish is so easy (I used slightly less olive oil) and absolutely delicious. The salty cheese works well with the sweet fennel. I will make this one over and over again and next time I might add some pancetta.
With such a simple dish the quality of the ingredients must be excellent.
You can find this recipe in Giada's fantastic cookbook "Giada's Family Dinners".
Roasted Fennel with Parmesan
Ingredients
4 tablespoons olive oil
4 fennel bulbs, cut horizontally into 1/3-inch thick slices, fronds reserved
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/3 cup freshly shredded Parmesan
Directions
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Lightly oil the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch glass baking dish. Arrange the fennel in the dish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, then with the Parmesan. Drizzle with the oil. Bake until the fennel is fork-tender and the top is golden brown, about 45 minutes. Chop enough fennel fronds to equal 2 teaspoons, then sprinkle over the roasted fennel and serve.
Not only does it taste good, it's a pretty dish. I forgot to sprinkle the fronds over it.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Randomissimo - Am I the only American who has never had a flu shot?
I've reading and hearing a lot about the Swine Flu vaccine.
As a child I went to the pediatrician every year for a check up. My mom was a nurse. Yet I never had a flu shot. In L.A. it seemed everyone I knew would get a shot for the season.
Should I get one? Do you? Why or why not?
As a child I went to the pediatrician every year for a check up. My mom was a nurse. Yet I never had a flu shot. In L.A. it seemed everyone I knew would get a shot for the season.
Should I get one? Do you? Why or why not?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Flashback Friday – Gladys Knight and the Pips "I Heard Through The Grapevine"
A little before my time but my parents and their friends were big fans.
I'm not sure how young Gladys was in the early '70s (pretty young) but she was bringing it. Like I said yesterday, good thing she came up in the '70s. She would have a hard time getting a record contract now.
"If I Were Your Woman" and "I've Got To Use My Imagination" are also fantastic songs.
What the hell happened to American R&B? Can we please bring back live instruments, a little bass, some drums, something other than machines?
Sorry but most of this current sampled stuff sounds soulless. I wish artists like Jill Scott were topping the charts. When they sing you feel something, like there's actually some emotion in their voices. I miss Lauryn Hill. L Boogie, where are you?
Yeah I know I sound like an old lady but my sister is ten years younger than me, from a completely different generation and she complains about the same thing.
I love Marvin's version of this song as well. Another great artist. I miss Marvin too.
Have a great weekend.
I'm not sure how young Gladys was in the early '70s (pretty young) but she was bringing it. Like I said yesterday, good thing she came up in the '70s. She would have a hard time getting a record contract now.
"If I Were Your Woman" and "I've Got To Use My Imagination" are also fantastic songs.
What the hell happened to American R&B? Can we please bring back live instruments, a little bass, some drums, something other than machines?
Sorry but most of this current sampled stuff sounds soulless. I wish artists like Jill Scott were topping the charts. When they sing you feel something, like there's actually some emotion in their voices. I miss Lauryn Hill. L Boogie, where are you?
Yeah I know I sound like an old lady but my sister is ten years younger than me, from a completely different generation and she complains about the same thing.
I love Marvin's version of this song as well. Another great artist. I miss Marvin too.
Have a great weekend.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Great thing about living in Rome? I don't have to deal with African- American jacked up hair issues.
Good morning bloggisti, I'm warning you now, this is a rant.
My good friend sent me the following link from Jezebel.com.
I can't believe Ms. Samuels wrote a rebuttal. Her first article created a firestorm. To this day, I'm not sure why Newsweek published it.
I commented on Jezebel the first time Ms. Samuels decided to put a 4 year-old on blast and call a little girl's hair a "hot mess". Never mind that her hair is actually healthy and combed. Who the fuck is this woman? Zahara is not her child, or even her friend's child.
Anyway I know the Jolie-Pitts do take care of little Z's hair, as I worked with someone who is friends with them. LaToya at Jezebel really breaks down this article well. The fact is Z. is NOT African-American but African. Why is Samuels putting all our baggage on this child? Aren't there more important things to write about with a platform like Newsweek?
You have to read the articles Ms. Samuels wrote. They're insane. Reading them made me so happy I don't have to deal with ignorant people like her anymore. Clearly Ms. Samuels has some self esteem/self hatred issues. Cool she can hate the hair that grows out of her head but body snarking on a 4 year-old in the name of "cultural awareness" is not cool.
In the first piece Samuels said something about how, yes Zahara has famous parents but at the end of the day she will be judged as JUST an African-American girl. There's so much wrong with that sentence. Samuels is projecting.
She also talks about how Zahara, who travels all over the world, is missing out on that special "doing hair with mommy" bonding experience. Oh really, like dreading getting your hair washed because you know your mom has to put a hot comb through it and the smell of burning hair is not pleasant?
Of course there are hair issues in the Caribbean and Africa but in the States it's on a whole other level. And now thanks to our omnipresent media, black women in other countries are trying to emulate Western stars like Beyonce, even if they look nothing like her. Skin bleaching creams sales are skyrocketing.
When I went natural I didn't get flack from white people, it was from other black people. Many (not all) African-American women would say things like, "You're so brave." Uhmm for what? Wearing my hair the way it grows?
Then I moved to L.A. Black men compeltely ignrored me and/or felt comfortable telling me "You have nice features, why don't you straighten you hair or get a weave?"
My white female friends find the whole thing bizarre. Relaxing is not the same as coloring, so while they can empathize, they don't truly understand what a loaded issue hair texture is in the African-American community.
The issue, like most jacked things in the community, stems from slavery. The lighter your skin, the straighter your hair, the better you were treated. You probably got to be in house and not out in the fields. Minus a 10 year "black is beautiful" movement in the 60/70s when 'fros were in, the vast majority of African-American women (over 75%) are spending serious money on taking out or hiding the kinks in their hair.
I'm not sure if how one wears their hair is political but I do know that the billions we pump into this industry do not enrich the pockets of black people. The impoverished Indian women who give their hair so we can pay $1000 for a weave don't benefit. The majority of Korean markets in black neighborhoods who sell the hair and products don't participate in those communities. The biggest names in black hair care are own by companies like Revlon and Unilever. The same companies who sell skin lightening creams in Asian and African countries.
Almost every single black actress/celebrity has a weave. When you read black hair magazines and they do that one feature on natural hair, 9 times out of 10 the model is biracial. So even in the "natural world" there's a scale. Loose curls, so cute! Tight kinks, no. High fashion, which has never been known for being PC is why ahead of Hollywood. That alone says something.
Black women's hair has been in the news a lot lately because we have a African-American First Lady and all the press about Chris Rock's documentary.
Discussion is great but I'm sad it's 2009 and we are still talking about "good hair".
Being in Rome, there aren't many black Americans here. There are more black Americans in Florence. All my black women female friends here are from the Caribbean, England or Africa. They wear their hair in a variety of style. Two friends relax, the others wearing their hair naturally.
I mentioned to an Italian friend how I used to have the Halle Berry pixie cut and while the style was slamming it was a pain to upkeep. Every 5 weeks I paid $125 (mind you this was over 10 years ago, so I'm sure it would be more expensive now) to have my hair trimmed and relaxed. She couldn't understand the whole relaxing thing. She asked why would you want to look like everyone else?
Because in America assimilation is the name of the game. It seems like we are going backwards. Gladys Knight and Aretha would never have careers now. Beyonce's sister Solange, who just did "the big chop" to much ridicule, used to spend 50k a year on her weaves and had her first relaxer at 4.
And this is what Samuels wants for Zahara. To feel her natural hair is ugly?
Are there days when I get a bored with my hair? Yes. But I'm relieved to no longer live in a culture that looks at my hair and thinks either I'm a hard core militant, it's unkept or I cry in my pillow every night because I don't have "good hair."
My hair is what it is. I find it beyond ironic that in America the closer you are to an "European esthetic" the better. My very brown, natural self lives in Europe and I'm treated completely different here. I noticed it when I was in London as well. Before the summer I cut my hair really short, all the Italians in the salon were "bellissima, you can really see your smile, etc. etc." When I went that short in L.A.? Disapproval.
Good hair is healthy hair. Like Marcus Garvey said, "Get rid of the kinks in your mind, not on your head."
Signed,
Team Zahara
My good friend sent me the following link from Jezebel.com.
I can't believe Ms. Samuels wrote a rebuttal. Her first article created a firestorm. To this day, I'm not sure why Newsweek published it.
I commented on Jezebel the first time Ms. Samuels decided to put a 4 year-old on blast and call a little girl's hair a "hot mess". Never mind that her hair is actually healthy and combed. Who the fuck is this woman? Zahara is not her child, or even her friend's child.
Anyway I know the Jolie-Pitts do take care of little Z's hair, as I worked with someone who is friends with them. LaToya at Jezebel really breaks down this article well. The fact is Z. is NOT African-American but African. Why is Samuels putting all our baggage on this child? Aren't there more important things to write about with a platform like Newsweek?
You have to read the articles Ms. Samuels wrote. They're insane. Reading them made me so happy I don't have to deal with ignorant people like her anymore. Clearly Ms. Samuels has some self esteem/self hatred issues. Cool she can hate the hair that grows out of her head but body snarking on a 4 year-old in the name of "cultural awareness" is not cool.
In the first piece Samuels said something about how, yes Zahara has famous parents but at the end of the day she will be judged as JUST an African-American girl. There's so much wrong with that sentence. Samuels is projecting.
She also talks about how Zahara, who travels all over the world, is missing out on that special "doing hair with mommy" bonding experience. Oh really, like dreading getting your hair washed because you know your mom has to put a hot comb through it and the smell of burning hair is not pleasant?
Of course there are hair issues in the Caribbean and Africa but in the States it's on a whole other level. And now thanks to our omnipresent media, black women in other countries are trying to emulate Western stars like Beyonce, even if they look nothing like her. Skin bleaching creams sales are skyrocketing.
When I went natural I didn't get flack from white people, it was from other black people. Many (not all) African-American women would say things like, "You're so brave." Uhmm for what? Wearing my hair the way it grows?
Then I moved to L.A. Black men compeltely ignrored me and/or felt comfortable telling me "You have nice features, why don't you straighten you hair or get a weave?"
My white female friends find the whole thing bizarre. Relaxing is not the same as coloring, so while they can empathize, they don't truly understand what a loaded issue hair texture is in the African-American community.
The issue, like most jacked things in the community, stems from slavery. The lighter your skin, the straighter your hair, the better you were treated. You probably got to be in house and not out in the fields. Minus a 10 year "black is beautiful" movement in the 60/70s when 'fros were in, the vast majority of African-American women (over 75%) are spending serious money on taking out or hiding the kinks in their hair.
I'm not sure if how one wears their hair is political but I do know that the billions we pump into this industry do not enrich the pockets of black people. The impoverished Indian women who give their hair so we can pay $1000 for a weave don't benefit. The majority of Korean markets in black neighborhoods who sell the hair and products don't participate in those communities. The biggest names in black hair care are own by companies like Revlon and Unilever. The same companies who sell skin lightening creams in Asian and African countries.
Almost every single black actress/celebrity has a weave. When you read black hair magazines and they do that one feature on natural hair, 9 times out of 10 the model is biracial. So even in the "natural world" there's a scale. Loose curls, so cute! Tight kinks, no. High fashion, which has never been known for being PC is why ahead of Hollywood. That alone says something.
Black women's hair has been in the news a lot lately because we have a African-American First Lady and all the press about Chris Rock's documentary.
Discussion is great but I'm sad it's 2009 and we are still talking about "good hair".
Being in Rome, there aren't many black Americans here. There are more black Americans in Florence. All my black women female friends here are from the Caribbean, England or Africa. They wear their hair in a variety of style. Two friends relax, the others wearing their hair naturally.
I mentioned to an Italian friend how I used to have the Halle Berry pixie cut and while the style was slamming it was a pain to upkeep. Every 5 weeks I paid $125 (mind you this was over 10 years ago, so I'm sure it would be more expensive now) to have my hair trimmed and relaxed. She couldn't understand the whole relaxing thing. She asked why would you want to look like everyone else?
Because in America assimilation is the name of the game. It seems like we are going backwards. Gladys Knight and Aretha would never have careers now. Beyonce's sister Solange, who just did "the big chop" to much ridicule, used to spend 50k a year on her weaves and had her first relaxer at 4.
And this is what Samuels wants for Zahara. To feel her natural hair is ugly?
Are there days when I get a bored with my hair? Yes. But I'm relieved to no longer live in a culture that looks at my hair and thinks either I'm a hard core militant, it's unkept or I cry in my pillow every night because I don't have "good hair."
My hair is what it is. I find it beyond ironic that in America the closer you are to an "European esthetic" the better. My very brown, natural self lives in Europe and I'm treated completely different here. I noticed it when I was in London as well. Before the summer I cut my hair really short, all the Italians in the salon were "bellissima, you can really see your smile, etc. etc." When I went that short in L.A.? Disapproval.
Good hair is healthy hair. Like Marcus Garvey said, "Get rid of the kinks in your mind, not on your head."
Signed,
Team Zahara
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Adult Education in Rome
Why did I just hear about this place recently? I was telling an Italian friend I wanted to take an Italian class as I work in English all day, know a bunch of American, Canadian and British expats and all my Italian friends speak perfect English. Therefore I live in Italy but rarely speak Italian. This is a problem. I don't want to be one of those expats who lives here for years and can't communicate.
First, the Italian friends said my statue of limitations is up. They're going to speak Italian to me for now on. Okay. I'm ready. Kind of.
Second, expat friends, who are all stronger speakers than me (several are married/dating Italians or they have been in the country longer than me) will split our conversations, half English/half- Italian. Certain things like the trials and tribulations of Kate Plus 8 and American health care reform legislation are easier to discuss in English.
Third, I started classes at Upter. This school has every class under sun. There's even a Shakespeare class that goes to England at the end of the course. My friend said since classes are all about the professor, why pay double or triple for a private language school? I think Upter receives some funding from the State and the EU.
I'm the only American in my class. I sat next to a British man and was told by the professor to stop speaking English. Busted! Two classmates are from Germany. Not sure where the other three are from. One woman from Romania was speaking Italian so fast, no one in the class other than the professor understood her. She also spoke forever. I completely zoned out as she went on and on and started thinking about how fine Tom Selleck was in Magnum P.I. and why did mustaches go out of style?
I wondered if I was in the wrong level as I couldn't not complete this adjective/pronouns worksheet she gave us. Then again no else, including a student who's lived here for 10 years, could finish it either.
At the end of the class I was saying how I wish I could speak faster. My professor said just because someone speaks quickly doesn't mean they speak correctly. There's some exam at the end of the course. Sigh. I pray it's easier than the darn Italian driver's license test.
Now I have homework to do. A presentation a page long for next week's class. Great. What the heck am I going to talk about?
First, the Italian friends said my statue of limitations is up. They're going to speak Italian to me for now on. Okay. I'm ready. Kind of.
Second, expat friends, who are all stronger speakers than me (several are married/dating Italians or they have been in the country longer than me) will split our conversations, half English/half- Italian. Certain things like the trials and tribulations of Kate Plus 8 and American health care reform legislation are easier to discuss in English.
Third, I started classes at Upter. This school has every class under sun. There's even a Shakespeare class that goes to England at the end of the course. My friend said since classes are all about the professor, why pay double or triple for a private language school? I think Upter receives some funding from the State and the EU.
I'm the only American in my class. I sat next to a British man and was told by the professor to stop speaking English. Busted! Two classmates are from Germany. Not sure where the other three are from. One woman from Romania was speaking Italian so fast, no one in the class other than the professor understood her. She also spoke forever. I completely zoned out as she went on and on and started thinking about how fine Tom Selleck was in Magnum P.I. and why did mustaches go out of style?
I wondered if I was in the wrong level as I couldn't not complete this adjective/pronouns worksheet she gave us. Then again no else, including a student who's lived here for 10 years, could finish it either.
At the end of the class I was saying how I wish I could speak faster. My professor said just because someone speaks quickly doesn't mean they speak correctly. There's some exam at the end of the course. Sigh. I pray it's easier than the darn Italian driver's license test.
Now I have homework to do. A presentation a page long for next week's class. Great. What the heck am I going to talk about?
Monday, October 26, 2009
I need to update my wardrobe after I emptied my closet. I have no winter clothes.
Along with my cooking and Italian goals, I want to add more sophisticated pieces to my wardrobe.
A friend had a "sale" at her house over the weekend. It was a good excuse to go through my closet. I showed no mercy. Anything that was unflattering or I haven't worn in two seasons went to the sale.
I found a Issac Mizrahi wool skirt I bought years ago at Bergdorf Goodman that still had the tag on it. I guess I never wore it in L.A. because it was too "conservative". Now it's too short.
What didn't sell will be donated. Thanks to the purge, I basically have no clothes.
I've decided I need to start dressing for the body I have. No more baggy outfits which make me look heavier than I am.
I'm getting older. No more disposable clothes. Other than a summer cotton top here or there, bye-bye, H&M, Zara, Top Shop etc. I have a build similar to Joan's on Mad Men but shorter. I need clothes that are better constructed. On me cheap clothes don't look cute, only cheap. Plus I no longer live in super casual L.A., I got to step it up.
Trust, I know the difference between clothes that are well made and worth the price and clothes where you are paying for a label. I have a very tight budget, I'm not interested in the latter.
I'm going to slowly build back my wardrobe by focusing on classics and accessories. Of course I need to earn some money first. sigh.
It feels good to once again live in a city where we have fall, people dress up even when they don't have a job interview (I must write a separate post about the men and their suits) and people know the world is not their living room so you can't wear flips flops every where.
I can't believe how I used to dress in L.A. I think I gave up and just didn't give a you know what.
First on my list, a gun metal grey or black wool dress. Three-quarter sleeves would be great.
I love this dress from Bottega Veneta. At 900 euros, I won't be buying it anytime soon but the lines of the dress are very flattering.
Desiree Rogers, the White House Social Secretary, is an example of classic but not boring style. She does not play. I love her sense of color and it's clear she knows what looks good on her body. She is fifty and fab.
photo:Vogue Magazine
I definitely need to find a very good tailor. Because I'm so curvy, I might have start buying dresses and shirts a size up (especially since European sizes are cut so slim) and have the waist/sleeves taken in.
A friend had a "sale" at her house over the weekend. It was a good excuse to go through my closet. I showed no mercy. Anything that was unflattering or I haven't worn in two seasons went to the sale.
I found a Issac Mizrahi wool skirt I bought years ago at Bergdorf Goodman that still had the tag on it. I guess I never wore it in L.A. because it was too "conservative". Now it's too short.
What didn't sell will be donated. Thanks to the purge, I basically have no clothes.
I've decided I need to start dressing for the body I have. No more baggy outfits which make me look heavier than I am.
I'm getting older. No more disposable clothes. Other than a summer cotton top here or there, bye-bye, H&M, Zara, Top Shop etc. I have a build similar to Joan's on Mad Men but shorter. I need clothes that are better constructed. On me cheap clothes don't look cute, only cheap. Plus I no longer live in super casual L.A., I got to step it up.
Trust, I know the difference between clothes that are well made and worth the price and clothes where you are paying for a label. I have a very tight budget, I'm not interested in the latter.
I'm going to slowly build back my wardrobe by focusing on classics and accessories. Of course I need to earn some money first. sigh.
It feels good to once again live in a city where we have fall, people dress up even when they don't have a job interview (I must write a separate post about the men and their suits) and people know the world is not their living room so you can't wear flips flops every where.
I can't believe how I used to dress in L.A. I think I gave up and just didn't give a you know what.
First on my list, a gun metal grey or black wool dress. Three-quarter sleeves would be great.
I love this dress from Bottega Veneta. At 900 euros, I won't be buying it anytime soon but the lines of the dress are very flattering.
Desiree Rogers, the White House Social Secretary, is an example of classic but not boring style. She does not play. I love her sense of color and it's clear she knows what looks good on her body. She is fifty and fab.
photo:Vogue Magazine
I definitely need to find a very good tailor. Because I'm so curvy, I might have start buying dresses and shirts a size up (especially since European sizes are cut so slim) and have the waist/sleeves taken in.
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