Monday, October 23, 2006

Perhaps I have turned a corner

Friday night I went to the fun birthday party of a good friend. It was sit down dinner at a restaurant and her parents flew in. I bumped into a friend and former co-worker of hers. A couple months ago the birthday girl had a party to celebrate her new job. I was so tired after work, I really wanted to go home, sit on my couch and eat junk. Not go to a hotel bar and hang out with agents. In keeping with doing the opposite (ala George Costanza) I took a shower and went to the party.

On Friday birthday girl's friend asked me if things were still going well since the last time she saw me I was in such a great mood and full of postive energy. I have to say I was suprised. I was in the middle of my bad summer funk and was avoiding social gatherings because my attitude was so stank. Clearly taking a shower and getting out of the apartment had done wonders for my mood that evening.

This weekend was busy. I worked on the book all weekend. I had a great time. I accomplished a lot and cracked myself up in the process. Okay so no one else may find the things I wrote funny but I did. I will be working on it today until my destist appointment this afternoon. Matteo's dialogue is getting better.

One of my friends returned from Italy and bought me some books that I might be able to read: Atlantis-L'impero Perduto (from Disney Junior), Cappucetto Rosso (Little Red Riding Hood), I Capolavori-Cenerentola (Cinerella)
and Il Viaggio In Italia di Valentina (Valentina's Italian Vacation).

I don't know why I am feeling better these days. I'm not on medication and nothing has really changed (still broke, still single). It could be because in less than 2 months I will be home for Christmas. I cannot wait to go to St. Martin. Getting back into volunteering helps (we don't meet during the summer). I spoke to another friend yesterday who finished giving me her notes (she started to a couple weeks ago) and she had some excellent feedback. Her criticism was helpful and I realized that no matter what happens I should be proud of finishing what I started. So many people I know in the business say things like "I should be writing, all these scripts suck. I would write a book/script but you know, I'm , like busy." as if it's so easy. Did I like getting up at 4 or 5 a.m. and writing before work? Not really. Or listening to negative notes after working on something for this long? No, but I'm glad I did it.

Maybe I have turned a corner because I feel pro-active. I know I am going to change my situation, somehow, so I don't let things get to me as much. I will be leaving L.A. so I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of the time I'm here. Hopefully it will only be a couple of years. :)

On the kids front. It is what is it, I can't be depressed about it. I'm not freezing my eggs or wallowing in self-pity anymore. I'm done with that. Everyone has a different path (that sounds so cali), I can fulfill my maternal feelings in other ways.

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