Tomorrow is a new day

I just saw some photos "the countessa di filicudi" sent from dinner at La Buca Saturday night and some from watching the World Cup. I look like I'm pregnant.

We all know that is impossible so I might want to reign in the eating of popcorn, Jelly Bellys, Swedish Fish, those Chicken taquito things (sp) from Trader Joe's, cake, cookies etc. Skirts that were too big in Rome, I can't get into now. Che cazzo?

I know some of it was working on the book and being back in L.A. I had to cut my gym time in half, so I could get some writing done before going to the office. I drive everywhere so no more walking three or more miles a day. I haven't taken a boot camp class since I been back. I am going to try to take class on Thursday. Also when I'm down, stressed, or bored I eat. I am all of those things at this moment.

At some point I need to go to London to see some writers. I have enough miles but I have to see how my finances are this fall. Having to get the new car after the accident threw my entire budget off.

I met my three friends from Italian class for dinner at La Buca. Amazing food. Mama came out to say hi. She made this homemade pasta with mushrooms and truffle oil that we are still talking about. The owner flew her out from Italy and she barely speaks English. My friends are leaving for Italy soon. Two of them will be there for a month at around the same time and the other is leaving in late September for three weeks. I know I was just there in May but it seems years ago.

I remember when I got back I said I was going to work on my attitude and stop complaining about L.A. I have failed. My job is going well but I am finding living here tougher everyday. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it as I get older I have less patience for bullshit? Is it because I make such little money I'm over this one actress I know complain about making ONLY 1.4 million a year for a couple hours a week work? I'm at the age where I shouldn't feel insecure about not having a blond weave down to my ass like Beyonce (okay at some point they need to redo that video) but living here makes me feel like crap. I miss my family and not seeing my nephew grow up.

I am going to try again. Starting tomorrow I am getting my act together. I am going to drop some weight. I refuse to weigh myself so I am going to say I need to drop at least one size. While I wait for feedback on novel number one, I am going to start the outline for number 2. I am going to get out of the country before I go home for Christmas. I will use flyer miles and I will have to figure out the rest. It's important for my mental health that I get out of here even if it's just for a long weekend. I wish I could go out of town for my birthday but I have to save money to go back east to see the family in September. My parents will be in the States.

Okay that is enough complaining for today. I think the heatwave is breaking tonight. Thank god.