Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Rihanna and Chris working on a duet? Why?

I have avoided posting about them as every time I would write something I would get upset.

This whole situation is sad. The only positive thing is young people are talking about domestic violence. We have a long way to go however, as many of Chris Brown's young fans (mostly girls) blame Rihanna.

I assume they have not read the police report or seen photos of her injuries. I don't think it's okay for anyone, man or woman to put their hands on someone. Let's say for the sake of argument she hit him first. The injuries she had were not from self-defense. He beat the crap out of her. It was vicious and clearly he has some major issues.

I really cannot wrap my head around beating up someone you care about like this. I'm lucky in that I have never, nor have any of my friends or family members been in an abusive relationship. Abuse like this is not usually a one time kind of thing.

Many people have asked, why is she going back to him...she's rich, she has options. Maybe she feels guilty, like if she does broke up with him, she would be to blame for his career being over.

I'm not sure if his career will suffer. If Chris Brown had treated a pit bull that way he'd probably be in more trouble.


Ms. Violetta said...

I don't understand her decision to stay with someone who would abuse her like that.

Romerican said...

You hit the nail on the head, cara. I thought the same thing: Chris would've probably gotten into more trouble for beating a Pit Bull and people would've probably shown more concern for the dog than they are showing for Rihanna. He needs anger management and she needs some serious counseling.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hello there,

It amazes me how many black women are blogging about the Rihanna drama!! She's young... she's in love...she's making foolish decisions...

And how many of these folks who are sooo undone by her foolish decision haven't had DOGS that they kept in their OWN lives?

I feel sad for her but this judgment that so many are trying to direct towards Rihanna at so many blogs (NOT yours though) is just unfair.

Expressing concern...yes....

Passing judgment...no...

{shaking my head}

J.Doe said...

I agree with you....Chris Brown would have gotten in way more trouble had he hit a dog or some other animal. It's a shame how people's values are towards fellow human beings.
She did start the argument but that in no way allows him to smack her around like he did.
It is her life and if she chooses to stay with him that's her choice, but in the words of Oprah Winfrey 'If he hit you once he'll do it again.' Her risk. Not mine. Her choice. Not mine.

Anonymous said...

There are many things I can say...but really, all I can say is this.

This wasn't the first time he hit her. She said it was getting worse. Next time she might end up in a box.

Her father said he will support her. I hope that's just what he's saying in public. I hope in private he's saying that if Chris so much as lays a finger on Rhianna, he'll end him. That's what he should be saying.

Oprah is right...if he hits you once, he'll hit you again! I'm so glad she is dedicating a show to this.

And it's not passing judgement. How many nameless women lose their lives because they feel they have to keep going back? And what kind of message does this send?

Whatever. I have enough issues in my own life. I wish her well. I hope he truly gets help. But mostly, I am scrared sh*tless that SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE think it is OK to BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF SOMONE because "she's a hot-tempered woman", or "she had it coming" or "she shouldn't have hit him first." No, she shouldn't have hit him first. Doesn't excuse him choking her. Sorry.

God help this generation.


Milanese Masala said...

It's hard to understand the dynamics of toxic relationships like that if you've never been in one. I certainly don't understand Rihanna but it can't be easy for her. Not only is she in an abusive relationship, her problems are also front page news.
What I'd like to know is, how powerful is Chris Brown? Is he really that untouchable? I read a post on Lainey's blog that might be interesting for you: http://www.laineygossip.com/Chris_Brown_enjoys_himself_in_Miami_at_P_Diddys_mansion_after_beating_down_Rihanna.aspx?CatID=1004&CelID=0

God, I wish he ran into some sharks!

Los Angelista said...

I'm beyond confused. I've also thought about how Michael Vick is doing time for hurting a dog and Chris Brown is out of jail and having a merry old time. It's ridiculous how our justice system is so out of wack. I'm back to thinking she's on drugs. I'd stopped for awhile but now I'm convinced again. I figured he was on drugs... didn't turn himself in for 12 hours because he needed time for things to clean out of his system just in case.

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

ms. violette - It is hard to understand but it happens all the time. Some women don't leave because they are scared, others think these relationships are normal because it's what they have seen growing up.

romerican - I agree he need anger management and probation and/or jail time and she need counseling.

bwbtr - I have been staying away from certain blogs and websites because I was blown away by the comments when the story first broke. Yes she is young (as is he) but the amount of venom thrown in her direction really surprised me.

j. doe - I agree with you and Oprah. I don't see how this is over. There are control and anger issues going on here. Chris grew up in an abusive home and is on record as saying it was horrible. Okay, then why is he repeating the same behavior, get some help. His record label should insist on it.

gibber - that attitude is the thing that just floored me. How about the people who said "well she's an island woman, you know how they are are." WTF? Where are these young people learning about relationships?

milanese - I will check her post. I think there are many forces at work here. It's horrible something like this is front page news. I wonder if his record label is pushing for her to do this duet. Where is Jay Z in all this?

losangelista - I liked what you wrote on your blog. I'm curious to see how this case will shake out. I'm assuming he is going to try and plea to a lesser charge.

Kim B. said...

Your last sentence is chilling. How sad that it may be true.

I'm astounded that people are pouring venom on her. That's so awful. I don't know the situation but clearly he was wayyyyy out of line.

I hope she can find the courage to break free. A sad sad situation.

wordtryst said...

This entire issue is very disturbing - the beating itself, of course, and the aftermath even more so. I can't help thinking that a lot of what is happening now (the big reconciliation, the rumored marriage, the duet, the 'mea culpa' promises and gifts, the blocking of communication between R and her family...) is a result of the machinations of the people who manage R and CB, and who don't want their money trees to stop bearing fruit.

I've seen abuse, and I've experienced it. Rihanna doesn't seem to understand just how much danger she's in, and that makes me very, very afraid for her. I regularly read about women who didn't make it out alive. I could have been one of them.

As for the comment on passing judgement: When a man beats a woman (or anyone) that way he has committed a crime. Violence, domestic or otherwise, is everyone's business. It it's judgmental to understand this, and to understand that continuing to be with CB is an ill-judged response on R's part, then so be it.

(nyc/caribbean, I tried accessing your blog in Internet Explorer and - it works! Don't know what the Firefox issue is.)

glamah16 said...

Your last sentence was dead on. I just shake my head at whole situation and the women who still defend him. And Rihanna should listen to her parents for some reason. I hope the rumours are not true that they secretly married.
As my mother used to say you better walk after the first hit. And if she did throw a punch, she needs to walk out if a relationship would even incite you to get that angry. Very unhealthy.Both of them need help.

Tracie B. said...

los angelista--it often seems like those in toxic/abusive relationships are very similar to addicts

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

kim b - I agree.

wordtryst - it is a crime. Maybe the word "domestic" makes it seem less serious?

glamah16 - I can't even imagine getting that angry at someone. I just can't.

tracie b - true.