I hope everyone had a great summer. The locals are starting to return to Rome.
I'm looking forward to fall. It's time for a fresh start and I must make some changes in my life.
I don't know if it's the business I work in, being the first born of Caribbean parents with high expectations, being a Virgo, a New Yorker/Jerseyite, an anal retentive American or what, but I have a bad habit of winding myself into a super tight ball of stress.
This year, I really went over the edge. And for what? It's not like anything changed. I have to let go of my control freak ways and get a grip.
This will be hard for me to do. It's so against my nature. I always have a plan. Only recently did I stop with the whole five, ten, fifteen year plans.
Last week I celebrated another birthday. I realized I have a big one coming up in a few years. Do I want to look back on this decade as the one where all I did was worry and stress the hell out?
I'm at the age where friends are starting to lose their parents, or are battling cancer. Instead of wallowing in self-pity about what is not in my life (a house, a man, a savings account, financial security, my next job, a Birkin, etc.) I am going to do my best to appreciate what is in it.
I had a long talk with my parents about my work/money situation. They are very understanding and supportive. Without them I would have to forget about Hollywood and call it a day. Many people assume that because JUMPING THE BROOM was a hit, I must be rolling in dough or have a billion jobs lined up. That is not the case. Not even close. Post JTB I had a big wake up call. I will get into that in few weeks. I need to let the rage subside a bit.
At first I wasn't going to go away for my birthday weekend. Instead I planned to hold on to the birthday gift from my parents for living expenses.
Then I thought about it. What is a living expense, only rent, food, bills? Of course I can't/won't go crazy spending money I don't have. I'm not irresponsible.
The other extreme I was following, budgeting every single euro wasn't healthy either. I have to find a middle ground. The only things that are certain in this world are death and taxes. What I feared and stressed out about the most happened and yet I'm still here.
As I sat on a TERRACE on a hill in Piemonte I made a vow to myself to live more, worry less.
I'm not sure how things will go. I feel I did take a major step in the right direction last weekend.
I will write about Piemonte next week. I have a bunch a photos to go through. Grazie mille to Diana & Micha for making my birthday weekend so special.
If you have some good advice or links about how to become less of a control freak, I'm all ears.
UPDATE: Several friends have sent me the link below.