An one night stand is not an affair.

Where did this woman go to school? Since when is a random night of sexy times considered an affair?

What is the deal with all these jump offs selling their stories to the press? Don't they have parents?

What is the point of this? Fame, money? Does she think she'll get a reality show out of it?

I don't get it.

Italian Driving School Diaries - Back behind the wheel

I'm going to sign up for Rome's Car Sharing program. Since I haven't been behind the wheel in Rome in over two years, I thought it would be a good idea to take two refresher lessons with my former instructor, Bruno.

The good news: I didn't forget how to drive a stick/manual transmission.

The bad news: I get very nervous driving in Rome.

The combination of driving stick (which is new to me) and not being used to scooters or the massive number of pedestrians freaks me out.

In L.A. we don't have to deal with pedestrians. Maybe a few downtown or near Hollywood/Highland, but nobody walks in L.A. You could be driving down Beverly Blvd in the middle of rush hour and count the number of people walking on the sidewalks with one hand.

In Rome, it's a different story.

Bruno said, "have no fear." I know he's right. I hope in time I will get used to driving in Rome.

One my friends who lived in L.A and N.Y.C. before moving to Rome a few years ago, drives like a native. She's going to let me practice driving with her car. I was told (warned) I must drive around Piazza Venezia.

Great.

"Are you married?"

The following conversation took place this morning at my local supermeracto. Translated as best I can from Italian:

Cold cuts counter man after he gave me my salami di Napoli order: "Are you married?"

Me: "No."

CCM: "No?! How is that possible?"

Me: "We talked about this last year."

CCM: "Well, I thought maybe things had changed. We should go out."

Me: "I have a boyfriend." (I don't)

CCM: Looks confused as if my reply is completely irrelevant to our conversation. After a beat he says, "Oh, okay, well then you let me know when you want to go out. Understand?"

Me: "Uhmmm" (He spoke so quickly. I wasn't sure what he said.)

CCM: "Yes, you say, 'Francesco (not his name) let's go out.' Okay? Understand?"

Me: "Oooh Okay, have a nice day."

CCM: "You too, beautiful."


Trust me, this NEVER happened to me at Gelsons, or Bristol Farms supermarkets in L.A. Last year Francesco gave his number, after I told him I had a boyfriend. He said we could still practice Italian. Bwahahah

I thought it would be awkward to go back to my favorite supermarket when I didn't call him. But, he was perfectly professional.

I was caught off guard this morning. A year later and Francesco is still trying to get his mack on? Living here cracks me up.

Flashback Friday - Larry Hagman and Diana Ross - Yes, really

This has got to be one of the most random pairings of all times. I know it was done in the early '80s, but still.

Buon weekend!

This is why the Internet was invented - Cat videos

This remix of the infamous E Harmony "I Love Cats" video is beyond ridiculous and yet I laughed my ass off.

Bongos Cat might be my favorite part.

I must respectfully diasgree with Ms. Eva Mendes regarding the Cute vs Sexy debate

The last few weeks I've been working on my novel like crazy. I've neglected my apartment (which is a hot mess), my blog, etc. etc.

I have finally had an opportunity to come up for air the other day. I heard about this comment Ms. Mendes made to New York Magazine.

If I looked like Ms. Mendes perhaps I too would be sick of being called sexy. I don't.

I'm stuck on f-ing team cute. Guess what? Being called cute when you're over the age of thirty is not cute!!

I know being short has something to do with it. Eva claims being cute is more difficult than being sexy. What? Maybe for her. I don't know what she's talking about.

I'm not saying I need to be sexy 24/7. I'm sure sexy women get sick of it sometimes. That said, it would be nice to hear, "Wow, you look sexy" instead of, "Oh my God. You're so cute", or "That dress is too cute." Hello, I'm a grown ass woman. I don't want to be cute, dammit.

Okay, so that was my random post for today. There might be more randomness coming as my brain is completely fried from work.

Snapshot Rome - The dog days of summer

The heat is back.

We reached a high of 92 (f) degrees today and it's only June. Mamma mia, July and August are going to be molto caldo.

Last year I bumped into this dog taking a nap on a side street in Trastevere.

Nothing woke him up. Not the sound of people talking, cars going by or the scooters. Mr. Dog was determined to get his napping situation on.

Snapshot Rome - Pecore/Sheep

Normally, I walk on the old stone road when I go to Via Appia Antica.

A few weeks back, I decided to follow the joggers and cyclists and go through the park off Via Caffarella.

It's a very pretty path passing various ruins and big open fields. At one point I started to hear (and smell) sheep.

Hard to believe I was only a few kilometers from the center of Rome.

Fendi, Kim Carnes, Lasagna And A Naked Man.

Yes, these things are connected.

Erica has a great POST about our evening, along with a cool slide show.

I was her date for the annual Fendi performance art show. The show is held in the Old Jewish Market by Circo Massimo. I've stepped into that building many times and never notice the Star of David in the ceiling until Erica pointed it out to me.

When Kim Carnes came out and sang "Bette Davis Eyes," I cracked up. It was so random! She sounded great.

The show was very interesting. I can't say that I understood everything that was going on. For example, I'm not sure what was the point of the extremely well-endowed naked man who stood onstage.

The crowded was eclectic... fashion forward young artists mixed with old money older crowd. I think Erica and I were the only Americans there.

There was small post party at the palazzo of Alda Fendi on Via Giulia. She personally greeted every guest, which was very Bella Figura.

The lasagna was delicious. I wasn't expecting food at the party but was very happy to see it.

It was a surreal evening. Despite the rain, it was one of those nights that reminded me of why I love living here.

Staying in my apartment, time for some major spring cleaning

I decided to stay in the Center after my amazing landlord (at a great cost to her) installed new custom-made windows.

While I miss the charm of the old windows with their wooden indoor shutters, being able to get a good nights sleep is more important.

Originally, I wanted to move because of the noise and for more space. The noise issue in the summer will still be there (as I will want to open my windows ) but I can wear ear plugs like I have in the past. My landlord's architect came by to measure for a shelving unit in the kitchen area. That will help a lot with storage issues.

Living in such a small space I really have to keep clutter to a minimum. It's time for a spring cleaning marathon.

One of my favorite websites, Apartment Therapy, has some great spring cleaning TIPS for busy people.

I'm relieved I don't have to deal with the stress and expense of moving right now. My landlord is fantastic, which is something I don't take for granted. My landlord in L.A. was a nightmare. She was a horrible, cheap, dishonest women.

Also, the infamous G lives near by and one of my closest friends is moving to the area. I'm very excited about that.

Do you spring clean?

A few holiday lights in Rome

I cannot believe Christmas is only five days away.

Flashback Friday - Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake

Oh LAWD!

This abomination is probably one of the funniest and scariest things I have ever seen.

There is no such think as a Kwanzaa cake. Earlier, she made a Hanukkah cake because she had converted to Judism for her ex-husband. Never mind that nothing in the cake was Kosher.

She's dating New York Governor-elect Andrew Cuomo. Is Mrs. Lee going start screwing up Italian food? I could see her taking a can of Spaghettios throwing some grated cheese on top and saying "Here's a lovely semi-homemade Eye-talian dinner!" Her "tablescape" would look like a trattoria on crack and God only knows what type of hideous cocktail she would make.

Some people watch her show as part of a drinking game. That number is not enough to explain why her shows/books are so popular. She not a cook or a chef. I don't get it, I really don't.

I have no idea which part of this "cake" is more offensive. What do Corn Nuts (WTF?!) have to do with Kwanzaa? How can using all store bought goods represent a celebration of the harvest? My mind is blown. This woman is making millions a year.

Yep, making millions and doesn't even write these "recipes" herself.

Jezebel.com wrote a POST about the woman behind this and other lovely treats.

Have a great weekend.

Exhausted, brain fried, overwhelmed, the Tea Party and watching bad reality TV.

I have a new manager. She's great. I love working with her. She's very proactive and doesn't play. She gave me an outrageous deadline for the rough draft of my latest spec. I met it, writing up to 17 pages a day.

With every rewrite the deadlines are shorter. Her notes have been brilliant. We talk about each draft, what's working, what's not. She asks me hard questions about the creative choices I've made.

This weekend was a killer. I wrote all day. Now I'm sitting in my apartment and I'm overwhelmed by the mess. My place is TINY. How the heck did it get so messy so quickly?

I HATE clutter. Like an almost irrational dislike for it (thanks Mom). One of my friends used to have an office with scripts everywhere. I used to get anxious sitting in her office and would wait for her by her assistant's desk.

I can't afford a cleaning lady. I know it's not that expensive but that's my grocery money.

I don't even know where to start. Dishes, ironing, sweeping? Not to mention some of the bigger jobs like switching my closet from summer to fall clothes. Since I live in Europe and have no closet space, all my fall clothes are in under the bed storage boxes.

I also need to mop my hardwood floors, clean the windows, dust everything, clear my dining table of scripts, notes, magazines etc.

I live alone in a 40 square meter apartment (approx. 430 sq feet). My commute consists of walking three feet from my bedroom to my living room/kitchen/family room/office.

As I have mentioned before, my mom somehow managed to work, commute, raise a family, cook, keep a spotless house, etc. Yes, we had chores and my dad helped (mostly outdoors stuff) but it's not like I was cooking dinner.

On the other hand, my mom didn't spend time on the Internet reading about the cast of Jersey Shore. Can I say I find it depressing that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is going to make 5-10 million dollars this year?!

Why the hell did I go to college or work so hard again? Why is Bristol on Dancing With The Stars? Why am I still broke?

Instead of cleaning I'd rather read fashion and home design blogs. I had to take a break from the news as this election cycle is making me downright stabby. If any of the Tea Party far right lunatics get elected to the Senate or Governorship, I fear for my home country. Why is the GOP trying to act like this is a good thing for them? The Tea Party candidates are knocking out incumbents/stronger Republican candidates and giving the Democrats a better change to hold on to or to win seats. Are they scared of the Tea Party? Why? Where are the moderate Republicans?!

There are not enough words for me to describe how much I dislike Sarah Palin. I will never forgive John McCain for unleashing this ignorant hypocrite on the American people. What happened to the John McCain from the 2000 election?

I watched a new reality show on E! about an entertainment P.R. firm in L.A. That almost pushed me over the edge. This partner in the firm told a young first year associate she needed to put collagen in her top lip because it was too thin. Mind you the woman is gorgeous. She goes with an older colleague to the doctor's office and starts crying. The doctor gives her a temporary filler that lasts a few hours. Even for that she had to get shots and there was a little bleeding.

She returns to work and her boss is like you look great. The other partner could tell she was upset. Then when she said she couldn't go through the real procedure, he flipped out. He started yelling at her and berating her in front of everyone.

I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him out. This sexist Ed Hardy wearing jerk needs to look in a mirror. I doubt any real client would care about the jr. publicist's face and would be more concerned about her ability to do her damn job. The sad thing is PR is one of the most stressful jobs out there. Shows like this makes it seem like it's a fall back job for people who are shallow but can't be famous themselves so they work for celebs instead. For example, this firm asked Mario Lopez to host a party for a tanning lotion. Mario is Mexican-American and has tan skin. He doesn't use or need tanning lotion. He told them that. He did it anyway. I wonder how much he was paid.

Not all reality is mindless. Top Chef and Project Runway are very interesting.

Okay, so why did I bust out laughing when I saw the photo of Bishop Eddie Long rocking skin-tight Spandex? Why are the folks who are the most publicly homophobic the ones who keep getting busted? Why would Bishop send such a photo to anyone other than perhaps a personal trainer?

Speaking of personal trainer, Tracy Anderson needs to STFU about her "Teeny Tiny body" claims.

Alright this post was longer than I intended. I'm procrastinating. My mind is spinning in a million different directions. I have a lot of questions but will save them for another day.

I'm going to drink a glass of wine and make some dinner. Of course this means I will have even more dishes to clean. Arrrgh

Art installation next to the Teatro di Marcello

I meant to post these photos weeks ago. I was walking by Teatro di Marcello when I noticed this carriage on a crane.

On the way back, I snapped these photos. I'm not sure how long this will be up. It was installed the same week at the MAXXI opening.

I wonder who the artist is.

Dear rude Anonymous Italian,

Clearly you have a problem. I've never even been to Torino, so I have no idea what you're talking about. That you only see ugliness in all Italian cities says more about you than about me.

Why are you constantly coming on my blog and trashing my POV of the country I choose to live in?

I have a French passport. If I wanted to live in France I would do so. You, as an Italian, can live in another EU country. Why are you still living here? Move to France, England, Holland etc. It's obvious you have no intentions of trying to make things better here, so go. Note, my parents are French and trust me the French give the Italians a run for the money when it comes to bureaucracy.

I cannot wrap my head around why you would read an expat's blog who moved to Italy in the first place. Since you hate Italy so much, why the fuck are you reading my blog? What's the point? What are you trying to do? Convince me to see Italy through your POV? I'm not you, so how could I?

Given how much bitterness is in your heart and your lack of a life, I'm glad I'm not.

You must have me confused with someone else. I know and so does anyone who reads a newspaper knows Italy has its problem. As does every single country on the planet. If you're looking for paradise, good luck with that.

You're the one with the rose-colored glasses. You are NOT American and therefore have no idea what it's to live there. Don't you fucking dare tell me, a black first-generation American, how I should feel about the country I grew up in.

Basta.

What the heck....Doesn't Don Draper know I don't smoke?

I just noticed the vespa. ha




I can't wait for Season Four.

Twlight: Eclipse mania arrives in Rome

I was walking home from Prati and cutting through St. Peter's Square. All of a sudden a noise that nearly shattered my eardrum.

I went to investigate. This is what I saw:

Nuns, Jesus and mammograms

Only in Italy.

I went to get my yearly mammogram. I had to start getting them early as my mom is a cancer survivor.

My doctor here is French and speaking Italian and English fluently. She has quite a few expat patients. She gave me the name of the place to get my mammogram and I made the appointment. I thought the office would be very similar to hers. A typical doctor's office.

Instead I show up at this very pretty villa on the Aventine Hill. I pay for my screening and sit in a reception area. There's a MASSIVE picture of Jesus staring at me. Okaaaaay.

A nun (full habit) comes out to take my forms. She's very nice and speaks not a word of English. We managed to have a conversation. There are several other nuns working in the office as well.

Soon I go into the room for my x-rays. The technician is very efficient and speaks Italian slowly.

The doctor comes in for the sonogram. In rapid fire Italian he asks me a bunch of questions. Non capito. He repeats. I answer.

As I lie on the table I look to my left and there's another picture of Jesus.

I look at the picture and say (not out loud of course), "You're everywhere in this city. I don't think I ever saw you in L.A." Then I had to restraint myself from laughing because that's a beyond stupido thing to say.

Everything was okay with my x-rays. Phew. They put also put my photos on a DVD. That's a first.

On the way home, I cut through the huge blooming rose garden. There must be a ballet school or class near there. I saw a bunch of little girls in leotards and tights by the gate and in the garden.

A piece of music from the Nutcracker started playing. I walk through the garden listening to the music. Circo Massimo is in front of me with the Palatine Hill in the background. It was a surreal moment. It felt like a movie, not real life.

You've Got Mail! Girl Scouts Samoas Cookies

Imagine my surprise when I opened my mail today. Girl Scout cookies!! Thanks Dawn.

I asked my sister about them a few weeks back and was sadly informed that I had missed the season. Tears.

However, my friend Dawn, a mom of two in Montclair, New Jersey, clearly had the inside track.

The timing couldn't be more perfect as I'm dealing with some depressing work related stuff right now. This made my day.

That no one at Poste Italiane ate my cookies is shocking to me. Maybe they haven't heard of the yummy goodness that are Samoas and left my package alone. heh

I already put GS cookies season on my iCal for next year. I was a Brownie and then a Girl Scout. Cookie season was the best.

Two cookies have 150 calories. Do I care? No. I putting them in the freezer and will try to not to eat the entire box in one weekend.

Latest obssesion: Lurisia's La Vera Gazzosa Limone, artisanal soda from the Amalfi coast

I've been trying to find this soda in the supermarket. No luck. It seems as if it's only available at certain cafes and fornos (bakeries).

For what I can tell there is a Slow Food connection, the soda was created in 2008 and the lemons comes from the beautiful Amalfi coast.

This drink is delicious. It's very refreshing and light. It reminds me of a less syrupy Sprite.

If anyone has info on this drink, please share. Grazie.