tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post1099139089737488516..comments2024-03-23T19:37:52.547+01:00Comments on nyc/caribbean ragazza: Maybe I'm a Zitella (Spinster)nyc/caribbean ragazzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-8618788774115201752010-06-13T17:29:07.087+02:002010-06-13T17:29:07.087+02:00farah - grazie!farah - grazie!nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-90331054639765742032010-06-12T05:19:51.005+02:002010-06-12T05:19:51.005+02:00I have to post this on my facebook. You rock!I have to post this on my facebook. You rock!D.L. Alexanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16219036350634392386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-89449640462101930772010-03-11T12:53:54.392+01:002010-03-11T12:53:54.392+01:00aritul - thanks for stopping by my blog and good l...aritul - thanks for stopping by my blog and good luck with the folks in your village who are all up in your business. hanyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-70406175016548816312010-03-11T02:06:39.619+01:002010-03-11T02:06:39.619+01:00"I have to say I'm getting annoyed with r..."I have to say I'm getting annoyed with random people back in the States asking me if I'm dating someone and the sound of disappointment when I say no."<br /><br />Boy do I understand you. Here, I not only have to deal with friends from the States asking if I've found someone, but random people in my village (Spain) asking me if I've found someone yet. It's alucinante.<br /><br />Also whoever is the black woman running around America saying "Italian men love black women", please stop. Robert DeNiro is only one person and he's Italian-American.<br /><br />Truer words have not been spoken.Aritulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01687717613812613840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-11574704719689697502010-03-05T08:02:04.598+01:002010-03-05T08:02:04.598+01:00daniella - did you see the comment from Shannon? ...daniella - did you see the comment from Shannon? I love your last name. Thanks for stopping by.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-43202220795017575432010-03-05T06:41:06.567+01:002010-03-05T06:41:06.567+01:00came across this post randomly... my last name is ...came across this post randomly... my last name is zitella too! lol...Daniellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06529779321751730879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-82822051563437306812009-11-23T08:19:45.544+01:002009-11-23T08:19:45.544+01:00anon - I feel the hectic pace of our lives also ma...anon - I feel the hectic pace of our lives also makes it harder to meet someone. And as you get older the number of available men shrinks. I don't think I was ready for marriage in my 20s so no regrets about that. Now I'm pretty happy with my life. I don't feel the need to "get that ring" but I would like a nice stable relationship. I can write about drama, don't need to live it.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-35886904698303796622009-11-23T00:01:55.101+01:002009-11-23T00:01:55.101+01:00I can totally relate sister! I speak Italian, I...I can totally relate sister! I speak Italian, I'm surrounded by guy friends, but that doesn't mean that every nice man is meant to be with me... and trust me, I don't expect "too much" and I'm not a perfectionist... but a nice -and stable- man is not easy to find. I see many of my friends who claim to be happily married, but when I look closer I know that I wouldn't be able to put up with many things that they put up with, i.e. emotional instability of a man, unpredictability, lack of responsibility, selfishness, dishonesty etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-1256862809232548872009-05-22T09:01:12.506+02:002009-05-22T09:01:12.506+02:00sharon - ha. thanks for stopping by.sharon - ha. thanks for stopping by.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-77400044614257788882009-05-21T21:04:31.950+02:002009-05-21T21:04:31.950+02:00funny... zitella is my last name lolfunny... zitella is my last name lolshannon zitellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-82141720523126097532009-05-12T15:54:00.000+02:002009-05-12T15:54:00.000+02:00dalia - Yes zitella does sound like a pasta. ha
3...dalia - Yes zitella does sound like a pasta. ha<br />35 is tough but once you're on the other side it's fine. You're in Montreal right? I've only been there once, in high school. <br /><br />I feel your pain. L.A. was brutal as far as dating went. And it's a city that's very compartmentalized as well.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-4119358941828749242009-05-11T18:50:00.000+02:002009-05-11T18:50:00.000+02:00i think it's because jen totally wants to be in a ...i think it's because jen totally wants to be in a union and has stated so on many, many occasions, and with every breakup it just seems like an unattainable goal for her.<br /><br />meanwhile, george is a happy playboy (bachelor sounds like someone who is single but maybe would be open to long term; clooney seems to be allergic to anything more than a few years long). he's also been clear that he's not really looking looking looking...<br /><br />zitella sounds like a kind of pasta, if it's any consolation. <br /><br />;-)<br /><br />and when i was in italy, people stopped what they were doing an pointed at me. i didn't get much love at all there - and i've been told i'm pretty cute, so i don't know who these people are who think that italian men run around with tents in the pants for black women.<br /><br />i am having a mid-life crisis with the impending 35th bday and i am starting to feel like a "spinster". i live in a city that is very compartmentalized and as a black woman if you're not haitian, african, white or a francophone you're pretty much SOL.daliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05730163598125139288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-39967670605366189062009-05-01T11:19:00.000+02:002009-05-01T11:19:00.000+02:00moi - I hear that from older women as well. ha
gi...moi - I hear that from older women as well. ha<br /><br />girasoli - isn't that strange? As if one should only travel for the potential of romance.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-89081055967755819872009-04-30T04:50:00.000+02:002009-04-30T04:50:00.000+02:00Late in catching up here but wanted to comment any...Late in catching up here but wanted to comment anyways. <br /><br />I was engaged once and am SO glad that did not work out. I have seen too many unhappy marriages to *need* to be married. I would love to be married if I found the right guy but I am not unhappy because I am not married or currently in a relationship. <br /><br />Like wordtryst commented, "You focus on your goals and find joy there. If the right man comes along, that's icing on the cake. But it's not the cake." <br /><br />I have lost count the number of times people say to me that I must have a guy in Italy. They can't understand why else would I travel to Italy every summer. As if I could not enjoy myself in Italy without a guy?? Blows my mind each time someone says this to me.girasolihttp://www.slowtrav.com/blog/girasoli/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-42897641748599072852009-04-24T08:51:00.000+02:002009-04-24T08:51:00.000+02:00Funny thing though...so many older married women h...Funny thing though...so many older married women have told me over and over, "Don't get married!! Enjoy your life!!"Claudia https://www.blogger.com/profile/05894575151531616407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-35509165162644991882009-04-24T07:33:00.000+02:002009-04-24T07:33:00.000+02:00ms. violetta -
"My experience as I get older is ...ms. violetta - <br /><br />"My experience as I get older is this: if you want to get sex, you can get it any night of the week." <br /><br />Ha, okay I'm not so sure about that but I do agree with you that as one gets older it does get harder to find that "hair in your soup."<br /><br />Ms. ATL - I know. Or you go home and feed your five cats, order take out and clip Cathy cartoons to add to your fridge. ha.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-85161471235611934802009-04-24T00:14:00.000+02:002009-04-24T00:14:00.000+02:00It looks like I missed the party on this blog. I c...It looks like I missed the party on this blog. I can definately relate. I seriously think that people think that I arrive at my home after work and curl myself up into a small ball on my floor and cry that I'm "still" single. If only they knew!! LOL I secretly think that many of the people who are all up in my business without an invitation wish that they were you and I. Keep your chin up.<br /><br />Ms. ATLAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-58584915768993918702009-04-23T19:43:00.000+02:002009-04-23T19:43:00.000+02:00My experience as I get older is this: if you want ...My experience as I get older is this: if you want to get sex, you can get it any night of the week. However, if you want a relationship, it much harder to find especially as one gets older. Call it wisdom, but, I've come to a point in my life where neither choices thrill me. I love men, no doubt about it, but I'm also really tired of dating. At one point, I made a career out of it. I'm living my life on my terms and try to keep an open mind. Someone once told me that finding love happens like a "hair in your soup" After many bowls of soup, I'm still hair-free.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-35340108027691396652009-04-23T17:06:00.000+02:002009-04-23T17:06:00.000+02:00los angelista - you know in L.A. it's really banan...los angelista - you know in L.A. it's really bananas. I think living there really warped my world view. <br /><br />cherrye - Don't worry it will happen for you? Wow. <br /><br />kataroma - I agree people should be open minded. That said of course no is going to date someone they are not attracted to. My point was that in America, esp. Los Angeles, what is considered attractive when it comes to black women is very, very narrow. I never knew this until I went away to college as my town wasn't diverse and I was treated the same as my best friend who was the same complexion as Vanessa Williams. After college I lived in Washington DC for three years and it was an eye opening experience. Beyond deep.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-84659401668576953002009-04-23T15:59:00.000+02:002009-04-23T15:59:00.000+02:00milanese masala and frutto - I agree completely - ...milanese masala and frutto - I agree completely - no one seems to get married here before 30 (usually more like 35 or 40) and when I was doing a childbirth class at a big public hospital here I was on the younger end of the spectrum of pregnant ladies and I was 36! Most of them were 40. So there's that.<br /><br />My mother always said that it's important to 'know how to be single' so that when you DO meet the right guy (at 25 45 or 65) you're available. Nothing worse than dating losers just to fill in the time and not noticing the good guys because you're so bound up in the drama with Mr Wrong.<br /><br />I don't think it's fair to stereotype American men like that though, nyc-they're no more superficial or bound up in looks than anyone else including many women. I'm a woman and I wouldn't date a man I found unattractive either and I'm no Salma Hayek. Obviously the US is a huge diverse place - I dated quite a few American guys when I lived there and I liked them in general even if things didn't work out- obviously they were all different but they seemed much more 'chivalrous' in a way and also used to female equality than some guys of other natinalities I've dated (not talking about my husband here though of course!!) - I thought maybe that was because a lot of them had left home at 18 to go to college so they'd learnt early how to take care of themselves and live with women. I also knew quite a few women (although luckily it was just a few) in the US who treated men as objects ie would only date a man of a certain income level, height or religion/race. Yeah there is the occasional rich old ugly guy in the US who expects to date someone 30 years younger than him but the same goes here - how about those elderly men and their 'showgirls' - yuk. IMO for both men and women it pays to be open minded about who you'll date - you may be pleasantly surprised! And I really don't believe in national stereotypes when it comes to dating. My Latin American ex did the most housework of any guy I've ever dated for example.Kataromahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14978496810226430712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-33659851702103417572009-04-23T12:11:00.000+02:002009-04-23T12:11:00.000+02:00This is my pet peeve. I got married when I was 31 ...This is my pet peeve. I got married when I was 31 and people thought I was *SO* old. I seriously saw someone I knew from high school and when (of course) she asked if I was married and I said no she said, "Oh," (like I'd slapped her) then said, "Well, don't.you.worry. It will happen for you."<br /><br />Seriously.<br /><br />I couldn't convince her I was happy and felt my life was perfect.<br /><br />I *NEVER* ask my friends if they are dating someone new and I *never* ask my married friends if/when they are having children.Cherrye at My Bella Vitahttp://my-bellavita.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-11085180113957090722009-04-23T06:46:00.000+02:002009-04-23T06:46:00.000+02:0070% divorce rate for Cali??? Wowzer!
Everybody h...70% divorce rate for Cali??? Wowzer!<br /><br />Everybody here definitely has that Under the Tuscan Sun stereotype going on so I can only imagine how much you get harangued about your "prospects". I just had a heart to heart with a very good friend whose family is now just suggesting random people to her, as if the musty next door neighbor who's 10 years older is better than nothing. Sigh, HUGE double standard!Liz Dwyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17794296990587989214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-22464828845841867382009-04-22T12:39:00.000+02:002009-04-22T12:39:00.000+02:00scattered moments - I agree let's move along indee...scattered moments - I agree let's move along indeed. More and more women are not getting married or having kids. Folks need to get a grip.<br /><br />winegrrl - exactly. <br /><br />kim b - you are so right. In small towns the pressure is even greater. Living in DC, then NYC/LA no one was getting married at 25. The avg. age seemed to be early 30s. I don't understand why it would be better to be divorced than never married. Weird.<br /><br />glamah16 - ha. I don't know a single Italian man who lives at home but then again my friends are in their mid 30s and up. I hear you on the Euro men/black woman thing. I truly believe it's because some women came back from their vacations in France, Italy, Spain etc. and went on and on about the men. Meanwhile back in the States they get little to zero play so I can see why zee men here are appreciated. :) Why are people all up in your business like that? That would drive me nuts too.<br /><br />jessica - same here! As if moving for a man would have been more understandable. I am not a fan of Peter Pans. Seriously. I don't find it cute. <br /><br />sdg - very true. If you were a man, folks wouldn't even blink an eye.nyc/caribbean ragazzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370358466131415888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-7660376130972223442009-04-22T06:25:00.000+02:002009-04-22T06:25:00.000+02:00All I can say is Amen! I am 40, still single and h...All I can say is Amen! I am 40, still single and have no pblm w/my life. Double standard for real.Lenoxavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17146647934577010384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18861479.post-11939007611949983112009-04-22T00:01:00.000+02:002009-04-22T00:01:00.000+02:00I love this post so much! I constantly get looks ...I love this post so much! I constantly get looks of shock when people find out I didn't move here for a man and am always asked back at home if I've finally found an Italian boyfriend. <br /><br />Moscerina - The fact that your ex claimed the title of Peter Pan and actually thought that was "good" just exposes enough "cultural differences" for an entire book :)Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11953249268732816416noreply@blogger.com